How to deal with arrogant in laws? How often do you ask this question? How far would you go to deal with such in laws? If you will continue stressing yourself thinking about how to deal with them, rather than dealing with the problem, you will only be only disappointed.
In my marriage, like many others, I have seen a lot of good and bad moments. Sometimes I felt treated unequally; sometimes it was all good. I shifted my focus to the ‘good’. It would have only taken away my mental peace from me.
An arrogant person thinks of himself as superior to others. Just imagine yourself staying with such arrogant in laws, even if a single member of your in law’s family is as arrogant as this who finds immense satisfaction in underestimating others, your life becomes miserable.
How to deal with arrogant in laws?
The most effective way to deal with the difficult people in your life is by NOT dealing with them at all. Yes, you read it right. You will only end up getting more frustrated, irritable, and lose your patience. Situations like this will only result in more arguments and will give reason to your in laws to point their fingers at you. Then, How to deal with arrogant in laws? Scroll down and read, as I provide ten useful ways to deal with arrogant in laws and balance positivity in your life.
Ten Useful Ways to Deal with your arrogant in laws
Even after so many years of my marriage, I could not find any specific reason behind their arrogance. I accepted the fact that I cannot alter the situation with my ‘then’ existing approach. But since we know that in laws do cause problems, although we still wonder why do they cause so many problems in their own family? I tried altering my approach and a little mindset shift, which helped me and I am sure some of these useful practices will help you too.
|1. Face them with confidence|
|2. Sense the situation|
|3. Avoid Arguments|
|4. Focus on the positive|
|5. No response is the best response|
|6. Understand, they are insecure|
|7. Set a boundary|
|8. Start letting go|
|9. Reward yourself|
|10. Invest in YOU|
1. Face them with confidence
If you do not face your arrogant in laws with confidence, you will make it easy for them to make you feel divested. The more you loathe, the more you seek pity or consideration the more they feel superior to you. Stay confident in your approach.
Do not be a victim of the situation and surrender yourselves, keep up with your spirits. Do not let them tear you apart with their arrogance. Remember, we cannot control their actions but we can practice self-control to not fall for such behavior.
2. Sense the situation
There would be a situation when you have to speak with your in laws regarding some important family matter, and there would always be a possibility that your in laws will divert from the main topic and try to target you. It happens often, isn’t it? You just stick to the conversation and do not take part in the conversation further if you sense any alarming situation.
It has been noticed mainly when you are around a narcissistic mother in law, who will demean you every time and every way she finds a chance. Hence, you can pass the conversation politely, convey what you had to say, and step out by making an excuse.
3. Avoid Arguments
The most disheartening situation with in laws occurs when you are trying to make things even, trying to talk and clear things and again you both end up in a heated-up argument. It happens right, because we do not listen and we stress on proving our point, proving that I am right, you are wrong. In the end, it all goes to waste.
The best way to avoid any such situation is to refer to your past experience and your personal instincts here. If you are determined and you feel that, you can make a difference this time then go ahead and if even a single thought of doubt crops in your mind then kindly refrain, think about your mental peace.
4. Focus on the positive
It is their insecurity, and some carried forward notion which has to lead your in laws to behave arrogantly with you. While there might be several reasons to be unhappy with them, there would be surely one reason which might be a little positive side of your in laws. Focus on that.
I know it is hard to see the bright side when everything is so dark when you find that your nasty mother in law is jealous of you and hate to see you around but sometimes shifting your focus and response to a situation is needed to win the most important argument going internally, in your mind and not on external factors.
5. No response is the best response
You know your in laws don’t like you much; they cannot even stand your presence in their house. But since you are their daughter in law they have to bear with you and the same is the case with you. No matter how possessive your mother in law is or how interfering is your sister in law, do not allow them to enter your thoughts.
What do you do when you get frustrated thinking about how to deal with arrogant in laws, who are hampering your mental peace? I would suggest, DO NOT RESPOND, it is hard at the beginning to control the urge to give it back to them but eventually, with practice and experience, you will realize it is of no use and it only causes more damage to your inner self.
6. Understand, they are insecure
Right from the day you enter their son’s life, they see you as a woman who stole their son. It is all preconceived notions, a certification that every daughter in law receives without even acquiring such great skills. How to deal with arrogant in laws who are also hateful and insecure with their son’s wife?
The old belief systems are so strong that even when we try to give our best to remove such toxic thoughts from the minds of our in laws, 90% of the time we fail miserably. They are insecure and they will be, accept it, and leave the thought of changing them, concentrate on your behavior and positive approach.
7. Set a boundary
Setting a boundary is the prime element of any relationship. With in laws it becomes a little mandatory, Reason? What they don’t understand they try to challenge and they want it changed, eventually. Be it your dressing sense, eating habits, choices, lifestyle, etc. They will not even think once before invading your personal space, so you try to do that from your end.
Do not enter their personal zone and do not let them enter your personal zone, do not expect them to admire you for your unique choices. There might be certain things about your in laws that you dislike and vice versa. Instead of trying to make your ways acceptable, refrain from letting them enter your ways. Set a boundary and try to maintain a good lifestyle.
8. Start letting go
Start it now, how much are you going to hold up inside your heart and mind? It will ache badly and the worst part is nobody will ever notice it and understand the amount of pain you are carrying inside you while you smile from outside. It will only lead to a lot of mental distress, which will affect your daily routine and your physical health.
Learn to let go of everything you have been holding on to for a while, your in laws are arrogant and ignorant towards you and if you keep on holding grudges you are doing the same with yourself. Apart from your family members, your spouse, your children your duty involves taking care of yourself too. Do not forget that.
9. Reward yourself
Yes why not, come on you have been going through a rough patch of your life? Dealing with arrogant in laws ain’t an easy talk you walk daily. Reward yourself for not giving up even in the worst situations. Reward yourself for standing for yourself even when you were standing alone and trying to make things a little easy.
Do not wait for anyone else to do this for you, do it for your own self. Every time you snap out from the difficult situations and you come out with your sane and sound mind, pat yourself. It is a big deal to keep your sanity, dealing with difficult people in your life yet thriving to survive each day.
10. Invest in YOU
The biggest investment any woman can make is, in herself. Once we become a daughter in law and especially if we are homemakers, we cease to upgrade ourselves as if we cease to exist. We stop learning new things. Things that could keep us busy and away from the daily drama of our difficult family members.
This is something I personally do not like about woman, yes, why do you stop investing in you? Why do you cease to exist? Just imagine a day when the arrogance of your in laws towards you might mellow down a bit, but you were so busy dealing with them the whole time that you almost forgot to live and gave up the whole idea of your existence. Invest in yourselves.
Choosing yourself over your arrogant in laws
In my blog titled, 9 Types of Mother in Laws that Exist in India, I talked about nine different types of mother in laws, do read it find out which one you are dealing with and I would insist you to compare the other types as well. The possibility is you might find yours a little less dangerous or disastrous and find a little scope of getting along in the future.
It is sad that you got arrogant in laws to deal with, and it only gets better with time. It takes a lot of time, courage to withstand, and patience to hang on with such family members. It is no less than living with mental distress and no less than a form of verbal abuse you go through daily.
But how to deal with arrogant in laws who still prefer staying arrogant to you even after you have tried your best to make things work between you and them. What will you do, will you give up and cry about it or will you take charge of your life and leave them to themselves?
This is for you to decide, as now you know there exist ways, which might appear unrealistic or meaningless to you today but if you start practicing these simple rules in your life trust me life will change for good and you have nothing to lose. Even if you lose something that will be the baggage of hurt and disappointments you are carrying for long and troubling yourself.
Never trouble yourself over someone else’s negative karma. It will be only an accumulation of intense resentment over the years. Your mental health is as important as physical health, and your emotional health is very important for your family. Only a sane mind can see a thing clearly and act accordingly. Get up and take charge of your life, let no arrogance and no ignorance take away your meaning of life from you.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.