Can a bad marriage cause anxiety? Can a wrong life partner or toxic in-laws ruin your mental peace forever? How can one deal with so much and yet manage to stay sane?
Our family members, our life partners, and our kids are the ones who are the most significant part of our life, even one person out of these goes the other way creates a problem in relationships and harms the beauty of the whole family.
In this blog, we will discuss how can a bad marriage cause anxiety and ruin a person’s life right in front of other family members.
Can a bad marriage cause anxiety?
It is a sad truth, but yes a bad marriage or any bad relationship can cause anxiety and leave the person to rattle his/her entire life. It is how we humans are designed or programmed. We give the key to our existence to others and let them use it the way they want to. We become so dependent on others for the source of all the happiness and joy, that we forget to realize that we do exist as a separate body.
Especially if we talk about “Marriages”, it comes with a bonus, “In-Laws”. Now, whether you are a male or a female reading this blog, you both end up with in-laws with your marriage partner, sometimes it is your in-laws’ who cause problems in your marriage, and sometimes it is your partner who makes you feel insecure, betrays you, breaks your trust, causing you anxiety.
In both cases, you are sure to end up in mental distress. What is mental distress and what causes such distress which is unknown yet so lethal? How can a bad relationship cause anxiety and lead someone to break loose? Questions like these are natural to occur in one’s mind, but it is all so interconnected.
Related: Relationship OCD
How can a bad marriage cause anxiety?
As per an article in India today. In India, the divorce rate is less than 1 percent. Out of 1000 marriages, only 13 result in divorce. The low divorce rate owes up to social pressure, arranged marriages usually take place between two families and not individuals. If someone asks for a divorce, they’re usually shamed for going against the rules and parents. Resulting in indefinite mental strain dealing with the complexities of a bad marriage.
Compared to other countries the divorce rate in India is low but India is surely leading the charts as one of the most depressed countries with the highest numbers of depression and suicide cases. How can a bad marriage cause anxiety? As per research, women are twice as likely to develop common mental disorders, such as anxiety and depression after marriage. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), women are also more likely to experience trauma, often due to sexual assault or abuse, and therefore tend to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Hey! But who cares? What is the big deal in suffering, be it, men or women, if you are going through a bad marriage, if your partner has anxiety issues, it is just a part of life until it doesn’t affect you personally, right? A bad marriage can cause anxiety if:
|1. Your partner never supports you
Right from day one of your marriage, you have been struggling hard to get some support from your partner, especially if you are a woman, who is a new member of the family and feels secure near her partner but what if the partner doesn’t care for her security and desires as a new wife? What if your partner never supports you in any situation and chooses to stay quiet or support their family members over you, either you get frustrated or you feel depressed in the long run. You become a rebel or you shut down yourself completely. This is a very common scenario in any household which is a basic cause of any mental distress caused in individuals after marriage.
|2. Your In-laws disrespect you
You married your partner and you got in-laws too, now for a successful marriage, you have to make efforts to maintain a relationship with your partner and your in-laws too. Your in-laws treat you as an outsider and disrespect you and when you expect a little support from your partner they too demean you. How will you feel? Devasted? Helpless? Again a very common scenario in any marriage and again this happens with women most of the time. She chooses to stay silent and suffer in silence which causes a deep depression in her mind which makes her immobile. She stops upgrading herself and maximizing the full potential of her life and then gets a curse for the way she is.
|3. You are treated in an inappropriate manner
It could be anyone your wife, your husband, or your in-laws, who are responsible for such harsh behavior and giving you anxiety attacks. All this doesn’t just happen overnight but yes it happens daily, frequently that it starts hampering one’s peace of mind. When you treat someone badly, belittle them, criticize them you try to break their spirit, you try to bring them down and you do it daily you somehow succeed in it and the person becomes a slave of their mental stress.
|4. You are being abused
How can a bad marriage cause anxiety? When you are being abused. Abuse could in the form of sexual, physical, verbal, or even mental abuse. You are sexually exploited or are totally deprived of sexual desires, a marriage, and a relationship fulfill, living a lovelorn life is like living a curse. Some face severe physical abuse, domestic violence when partners hit and sabotage them. Verbal abuse is another form of distress, when you are continuously cursed for how you are, how you look, what you do, at some point in time it starts taking a toll on your mental health, and leads to mental distress, the famous invisible wounds and very less talked and understood form of abuse, resulting in anxiety or depression.
|5. You are mentally tortured
With all the forms of abuse, disrespect, and inappropriate behavior you are mentally tortured. In India, women are still tortured for dowry, they are tortured if they give birth to a female child, they are cursed not to bring prosperity to the family. The in-laws play a major part in demeaning the dignity and pride of a woman who enters their house with expectations and hope of a beautiful tomorrow. Men, on the other hand, are pressurized to meet societal standards, earn well, settle good and all this leads to severe anxiety which starts hurting relationships.
How to deal with anxiety and take control of our life?
Anxiety or any other mental illness does not lead to the end of the relationship but NOT taking timely action and leaving the problem unaddressed does. There are several cases or we can say the majority of cases, where the couple ends their relationship just because they fail to cope up with the mental state of their partner Instead of being there and helping one come out of the dark zone.
They put them completely in the no-hope zone because it is too much to do and a lot of patience and compassion are needed to bring back life in a person who has lost all the hopes. So can a bad marriage cause anxiety and just in case you want to take charge of your life and give a fair attempt to turn your scars into stars, I am ready to provide you some useful life-changing tips, which you can practice to help yourself and work towards your sanity.
Five ways to deal with anxiety
There are many self-help techniques one can apply to overcome daily hustle. I know it becomes overwhelming and you are left with no patience and energy to think rationally but what about your life? Your kids? Your career or anything which has still kept you going?
Anything which is still holding you on? Isn’t it worth giving a try? I won’t ask you to do anything over the board or anything which is too difficult but first I want a clear intention from your side that you want to come out of this mental distress which can lead to severe physical ailments in the future if not taken timely care. You need to understand no one else could give or take the power from you to nurture your own self, hence please start practicing below mentioned five things:
|1. Find a purpose do what you love|
|2. Love your self|
|3. Hold your key|
|4. Try to let go|
|5. Distant yourself|
1. Find a purpose
Do what you love and love what you do. I know in a situation like such, one doesn’t feel like doing a thing. But there is always something which could brighten up your mood, an old hobby, an interest, or a passion you wanted to follow but could not due to the responsibilities of life. I started blogging right after I was diagnosed with a critical illness, I was trapped inside my house almost bedridden and I started feeling depressed. I started writing and it helped not only overcome my mental issues but also help me find a purpose in life.
2. Love your self
How often we say, I love you to the person in the mirror? It might sound silly to few, but why? When you love yourself you preserve yourself. When you love yourself you know what is good for you and what is not. When you love yourself you know when to draw a boundary and since yourself from negativity. Selflove is not selfish and we often feel guilty of thinking about ourselves because we are conditioned like that. Times have changed and we need to take care of ourselves before anyone else, you need a sane mind to manage others, never forget this.
3. Hold your key
Can a bad marriage cause anxiety? Yes, if you give your operative key to someone else. The powerful key to your happiness, to the meaning of your life. I gave my keys to everyone around me and attached meaning to relationships I had with people around me, but eventually, I learned that when giving the control, the power of our being to someone else’s hand, we will never know how they will use it. Thye might use it in a good way that will keep both the partners happy or they might simply ruin everything. Take control of your life, hold the key close to your heart, and feel it to your skin.
4. Try to let go
Yes, set them free. If your partner is the one who is giving you anxiety attacks maybe he is dealing with a load of shit in their own life and is incapable of handling anything at the moment, the more you try to make things work, the more you end up in dismay and hurt. Learn to let go of things beyond your control, I know detachment doesn’t come overnight but yes it comes when you want it to, when you make yourself a priority when you realize you are harming yourself, even more, staying close to someone. You need to let go.
5. Distant yourself
Cut the chords and detach. It is not simple but not impossible when you have had enough drama and anxiety or panic attacks you will eventually feel like running for your life one day for sure. Before that day arrives and when you are sure what is causing you a problem because somewhere we all know our triggers, why not distance ourselves from those triggers? Why let anyone pull those triggers and out us in a no-hope zone, in that dark alley where we feel lost. Think about it.
Is professional help needed for anxiety?
Can a bad marriage cause anxiety? Yes, I think by now you know what is needed to be done but still if you feel a lack of support and acceptance. If your partner is the one who is causing you such a mental state then it is advisable that you consider taking some professional help in the future.
Meeting a counselor or a psychotherapist might help you think from a different view and the coping mechanisms suggested by them will surely work for you. In the end, we all want to rise against all the odds, but before that, we need to try all the ways and means to help us. Take charge of your life my friends. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.