Are you married to somebody with anxiety? Do you find yourself in a fix as you do not understand how to deal with your partner’s anxiety?
Mental illness or mental disorders like depression or anxiety are like invisible wounds that the sufferer carries inside them daily. The real problem starts when it starts affecting others due to their mysterious behavior and approach towards day-to-day life.
Due to the lack of awareness, not many understand the repercussions of such illness and how badly it can affect marriages and other family relations. In this blog, let us see how can we save our marriage if we are married to somebody with anxiety.
Are you married to somebody with anxiety?
Our life entirely depends upon the people we live around and especially our family members, now this logic applies both to the sufferer and the bearer. The one who is dealing with a partner with anxiety issues and the one who is actually having a really hard time dealing with the anxiety.
Is dealing with your marriage giving you anxiety attacks? Now the word dealing sounds quite obnoxious here, right. Who wants to deal with such problems? But we have two options either we love ourselves enough to abandon the person or we love our partner enough to help them overcome their anxiety issues and try to save your marriage from this distress.
As per research, it is believed that in the majority of the cases it is the wife who suffers from anxiety in marriage and husband’s distress is the result of their dysfunctional marriage, what do we do now? How do we survive this, should we step back or step inside the mind of our partner which is too bloated?
Before we deal with our partner’s anxiety, let us understand Anxiety
Anxiety could range from general anxiety to chronic, to social anxiety to panic attacks. It the early intervention and awareness about this illness which is of prime importance leaving all the ego and other things aside to save your marriage and your sanity.
|Anxiety could be Generalized to chronic.|
|Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, but people are too embarrassed to seek medical treatment.|
|Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults.|
|Anxiety disorder could be a result of various factors like genetics, a trait of personality, and life events.|
|Anxiety could last for a few days or for several years.|
Problems you face if you are married to somebody with anxiety
Anxiety is a way to respond to the body’s stress, but it becomes crucial when it starts hampering your relationship. The daily arguments and nagging over it will only make it worse for the sufferer. Understand your partner and try to come to a solution for your peace of mind. To understand, below are a few general symptoms that could also turn into chronic pain if not paid early attention. Are you married to somebody with anxiety? Yes if,
- Your partner is too trapped in his/her anxiety that they are struggling hard to get up daily and meet daily needs.
- They fail to express their needs and fulfill yours because they are already dealing with a lot inside them.
- They find it very difficult to explain their thoughts and emotions.
- Excessive worrying becomes a part of their life.
- Fear and panic become common to them, which makes you feel irritated.
- They feel anxious all the time.
- They have different mood swings, which again bothers you and you lose your temper.
- They are always afraid of getting judged and criticized by others.
- They avoid social gatherings and family events.
- Social anxiety is another issue they deal with.
- They seek validation from others.
How to deal with the anxiety of your spouse?
Now when you have read and understood the symptoms and by any chance, you strike any resemblance with your partner’s behavior and above-mentioned symptoms, trust me the road ahead will be easy for you and your partner. In the end, I believe we all want a happy married life, which is not a myth, it is us, the partners who instead of holding each other’s back, stop caring and give up on each other. In the book, Inner Engineering, by the Indian Spiritual Guru Sadhguru, I read that when we align our mind, body, and soul we unlock limitless possibilities to create a happy world around us and I was deeply impressed.
Seven ways to deal with the anxiety of your partner
You are married to someone with anxiety, this mental illness could have been their underlying for years even before marriage or could have been developed after marriage. It could be due to you or your parents, the very famous, in law’s trouble. In both cases, the person who is dealing with such a neurological imbalance could not be blamed in any situation. It is already very hard for them to get up and show up every day, all they need is inclusion apart from acceptance.
|1. Do not fuel thoughts|
|2. Pause and reflect|
|3. Take a healthy break|
|4. Be an active listener|
|5. Be there and work together|
|6. See a therapist|
1. Do not fuel thoughts
Your partner might be having a burnout, feeling jittery and panicky. You may not find it reasonable and say things that will only pull all the triggers and things blow out of proportion for both of you. Don’t do that please, I understand we unconsciously and unknowingly say things we don’t mean but a person who is dealing with such issues takes everything at heart and overthinks about it, which will only make it worse.
2.Pause and reflect
Before you yell, shout or scream at your partner for not attending the public gathering with you or a family dinner, try to talk first, many problems could be sorted out simply by talking politely and respectfully but we humans are programmed in a manner that we choose the other way round and forget the consequences of our words.
3. Take a healthy break
Time to time, you both should go out for small vacations, weekend getaways or a long trip if possible, it will help to re-kindle, reunite and rejuvenate. Sometimes things look really tough when we stay in a constant negative zone, step out of it for a while, work can wait, other things can be re-scheduled but your health and relationship should be your priority.
4. Be an active listener
Are you married to somebody with anxiety? Be an active listener first. Most of the time we just hear and we do not listen and try to understand those unsaid words and underlying emotions, be an active listener and maybe that is all needed for the given moment.
5. Be there and work together
How about fixing things together? Life could be a beautiful thing to rejoice, right? Leaving all the logic, reasoning, and questions, how about understanding the underlying issue and think about a coping mechanism? A mechanism that will not only help your partner but also help your marriage to sustain beautifully.
6. See a therapist
Either you can help your spouse by talking to her/him on a daily basis to track their mood and triggers. Or you can surely seek help from certified practitioners. Trust me it is absolutely normal to seek counseling in such cases, there is a lot of stigmas attached to mental illness but we have to choose what works for us and not go with the societal parameters.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.