Relationship OCD is for real and its presence in any relationship makes it complex and very hard to deal with. But what exactly is relationship OCD and how it can hamper the essence of a beautiful relationship?
This post is just for awareness purposes, to make you aware that something like this exists and the person going through it cannot help himself going through such intrusive thought patterns, so we need to help them overcome it and empathize with them.
In this blog, we will talk about relationship OCD, what could be the possible causes and symptoms, and how one can get treated or help their partner with timely intervention.
What is relationship OCD?
Before we talk about relationship OCD, let me brief you about OCD (obsessive compulsion disorder) first. OCD is a type of mental disorder, that causes the individual to do things repeatedly like performing some rituals, washing hands, and being too obsessed about keeping things in order.
Usually, people confuse the need for neatness and cleanliness with OCD but it is way beyond that. Living with OCD is a distressing mental disorder and there is no quirk attached to it.
Relationship OCD on the other hand can be termed as a subset of OCD wherein an individual feels too insecure in his/her relationship. They need constant reassurance about the permanence of their relationship yet they fail to trust their partners. We often doubt our partner and get into arguments over being the possessive one in the relationship but what happens when all this and a lot more becomes an obsession?
This kind of behavior becomes hard for the other partner to digest because they might find it irritating and over-reacting but in reality, it is something they cannot resist thinking about.
There is another form of ROCD in which the partner is obsessed with finding flaws or shortcomings in his/her partner, they can’t focus on anything good and always look at the dark side of the person and it badly affects their bonding.
5 things you must know about the person going through relationship OCD
Like other mental disorders, relationship OCD could also be a result of psychological and biological factors. When you are too dependent on your partner and cannot think about a world beyond them, when you feel incomplete without your partner, or when you fear abandonment and live under constant insecurity of losing your partner, how do you think your relationship will shape out in the future?
We can surely help our partner and help ourselves by being a little aware of the situation. When we don’t pay the much-needed attention this kind of disorder aggravates and gets worse. Timely intervention and little help can reduce the impact of ROCD on your beautiful relationship. Here are a few things you can do or learn about a person going through a relationship with OCD.
1.) ROCD is a mental disorder, individuals cannot help but obsesses over intrusive thoughts that make them helpless and restless.
2.) ROCD could be a result of some childhood trauma, some deep inflicted trust issues, or just a clinical disorder.
3.) A person dealing with ROCD struggles a lot inside their head to keep the balance with their composure.
4.) The urge/anxiousness comes naturally and cannot be controlled in most cases.
5.) These polarising thoughts handicap the individual beyond our imagination.
Few common obsessions your partner might go through:
1.) What if he/she gets along with someone else?
2.) What if he/she leaves me?
3.) Am I good enough for him/her or is he/she good for me?
4.) Will this relationship last forever?
5.) What will I do without him/her?
Few common problems when you in love with a person with relationship OCD
1.) Trust issues
2.) Frequent need for re-assurance
3.) Too overwhelming
4.) Mentally tiring to give constant attention
5.) Lack of awareness creates misunderstanding
How can you help?
I know mental disorders are hard to understand, especially if you have never heard about them. If you really love your partner and you think something is wrong and is affecting your relationship, the trust issues, the constant need for assurance, then it is time to talk. You can always have a nice conversation at length and try to get into the head of your partner, completely being non-judgemental.
1.) Communication is the key: Talk to each other. Talk about how you feel about your situation, provide a safe space for your partner to open up and express their feelings. Suppression hurts and aggregates such feelings, dismission is even more dangerous in such cases.
2.) Consult a counsellor, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Mental health is as important as our physical health so why be ashamed of meeting a therapist if you have any trouble adjusting with your mind. You and your mind are not gelling well, maybe it’s time they both need a small re-wiring, go for it.
3.) Maintain a mood journal to understand the triggers. Understanding triggers ar very crucial for any mental disorder.
To conclude, we all need healthy and peaceful relationships and for that, we need good mental health. Little awareness and understanding of the real problem can help us closer to get some solution. I hope with this post, you will get a brief idea about relationship OCD and how it can affect your relationship if things continue in the same fashion. Be aware, be there and you can save your relationship. Rise up!
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.