Marriages are made in heaven! We all have heard this phrase over and over again. So if marriages are made in heaven, why do they turn into a living hell for some individuals? Marriages flourish, marriages fail, but why do people remain in unhappy marriages?
Why do people remain in unhappy marriages?
In this blog, let us together ponder over the possible and the most common reasons why people stay in toxic relationships knowing the consequences of staying in an unhappy marriage and yet carrying the baggage of hurtful emotions throughout their life.
There could be thousands of reasons varying from individual to individual, just like we hear most uncommon and uncanny reasons for separation and divorce and there exist a plethora of reasons, obviously hard to digest and understand the exact reasons why we stay in unhappy marriages.
7 reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages
Here are a few very common reasons why:
1.) Fear of getting judged
One of the most common reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages. Do you know why do people remain in unhappy marriages? Because they don’t want to be judged and labelled. A woman doesn’t want to be called a divorce, someone who could not manage her household and her husband.
A man will not want him to be seen as a loser who could not take care of his family, but no one could ever escape from the unwarranted and unsolicited remarks when they take that step towards separation and ending things.
People fear all the challenges and struggle and develop cold feet, they feel numb and don’t see a way out, so yes they remain where they are, in the toxicities of their relationship, hiding and covering everything beneath that smile.
Another prominent reason why people remain in unhappy marriages and suffer, but here is the catch, along with them the child suffers too. In most cases, children even develop long-lasting beliefs about relationships which becomes hard to crack.
But just for the love of their children, being able to raise them together, sometimes parents don’t part their ways, they stay together but in different worlds of their own. Just for the sake of children, they come to an arrangement where the marriage is no longer a beautiful relationship but just an agreement and adjustment for many couples.
3.) Lack of financial support
Even though more and more women are educated and working today, the majority of the women population still lack this option and hence they lack financial freedom and support. If they step out of the marriage they know they have no other means to survive.
Most of them have never worked or have no knowledge of the outside world and this is just some basic thing I am sharing if we go with the statistics based on countries and ethnicity things are even worse. Hence, most of the women stay in unhappy marriages and stay unhappy throughout their life because they cannot provide for themselves and their children. It is a harsh truth and it kills them.
4.) Unssuportive environment
An unsupportive environment is another major reason why people stay in unhappy marriages. Most of the times family members, toxic in-laws doesn’t support and help. Most of the time your in-laws will keep interfering between you two, directly or indirectly.
But when you approach them for help, they take out all the resentment they have been piling u against you and you are labelled as a badass. Someone who could not handle their relationship and now seeking help from others, what a loser, eh?
Why do people remain in unhappy marriages? Because sometimes they like it being there. This might sound weird to many, but some people like to stay in pain, maybe it becomes their pattern. They know the ups and downs so well that they become accustomed to it, although not happy or comfortable but may be used to it.
It is also called finding subconscious pleasure in emotional negativity. An incident or experience we don’t appreciate or like but cannot detach ourselves from it, masochists sometimes like it being there and they start relating/familiarising with that pain, and even worse they self-sabotage themselves.
Codependency is in any relationship is harmful. It is when one partner depends too much on the other for every kind of support and pacification. Support like emotional, physical, moral and sometimes even complete financial support.
When things start to fall apart, they lose their grip and don’t know where to rely anymore and this very situation leads to a lot of agitation, anxiousness in the individuals, totally unhealthy for their mental well-being.
7.) Social Pressure
Social pressure is another common reason for the question, why do people remain in unhappy marriages? Most of the time it is the society, people around us, neighbours and relatives who put us in such a tough spot that you will feel that your troubled paradise is better than hearing them speak trash about things they don’t even know.
To conclude, I would say that most of the toxic, troubled relationships die once they lose the very essence of their formation, then rest of the time we just carry the remains of what is left, and surprisingly most of the time there is nothing left, yet we carry the weight just because of the above-listed factors.
We kill the beauty of our life just because of society, stereotypes, people around us. We forget to live our life to th fullest just because we see no hope towards the end of ht tunnel, all we see is darkness and can’t help ourselves fall deeper into every single day.
Do you want to live such a life? Ask this question to yourself and do what is needed, you are the writer of your life, write your own story, edit often.
Love and light
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.