Are you dealing with unsupportive family and friends? Nobody knows us better than our family and friends. They know us in and out, i.e. the good, the bad, the strengths, the weaknesses, and perhaps even the deepest darkest secrets.
Despite everything, they sometimes fail to understand us and appreciate the way we are. The people closest to us have made particular assumptions about us, and therefore they expect us to fulfill them. They think they know better what’s best for you and disregard your own hopes and dreams.
Dealing with Unsupportive Family and Friends?
People who have supportive friends and family are the luckiest folks in this world. Many of us cannot even relate to how it feels like having someone to cheer you on or be happy for you.
Everyone is entitled to their Opinion
I’ve had a vivid imagination since childhood and I suppose that I have a talent for storytelling. My parents thought it was cute while I was just a kid, but they weren’t happy when they realized that it wasn’t just a phase or me being a child.
When I reached adolescence, I knew my calling and I was determined to follow my passion. I wanted to be a screenwriter or filmmaker, in order to unleash the creativity within me.
According to my parents, the entertainment industry is a farce, which is why they were appalled when I told them that I was not going to pursue one of the careers they deemed ‘honorable’.
My friends did not share the old-fashioned views of my parents, but they had other discouraging things to say. For instance, my best friend since preschool told me that I did not have what it takes to follow my dreams. He didn’t say those exact words, but that was the gist of his elaborate judgment.
Then another friend of mine let me down in a somewhat positive way. He said that I have a way with words, a high IQ, substantial wit, and the ability to inspire. He reminded me that I always did great in my science classes, especially chemistry. The discussion ended with him suggesting that I get into scientific research or teaching, to put my skills to better use.
It’s never the End of the World
I am not saying that my parents and my friends are horrible people. Some of their concerns come from a good place and they are obviously entitled to their personal opinions.
However, I wish they would accept the fact that this is my life and I want to live it on my own terms. I have my ideas about them too, but I would never impose anything. Why can’t they just wish me luck and let me write my destiny? Maybe I won’t make it big, maybe my attempts will flop, or maybe I can beat the odds; either way, I won’t have any regrets, neither anyone to blame for my failures.
We all need a support system in our lives. It is natural to expect your friends and family to back you up. Nonetheless, if that does not happen, it is not the end of the world. Now all you have to do is be strong, work hard, and prove them wrong.
Your success does not guarantee their approval, but I promise that you will find happiness. Self-satisfaction and contentment is the key to achieve sanity and excellent mental health.
Toxic Relationships are a Slow Poison
Your significant other must be your pillar, a force against all odds, your savior, or just someone you can always depend on. It hurts the most when your spouse or partner doubts your choices and decisions.
If the person whom you call your better half is constantly demeaning and offending you, what are you even getting out of this relationship? Domestic violence comes in many forms, and psychological abuse is one of them.
No one has the right to control your life or punish you for being yourself. If you think that love still resides, simply take a break to evaluate the stakes. Otherwise, it is time to cut off the negativity and move on to a new and better beginning.
Believe in Yourself
As someone who has been a people pleaser all their life, I recognize the need to be valued by loved ones. We all care for certain people in our lives and hope to avoid things that displease them. Acceptance and praise are great, but these things become futile when they are rewards for not following your heart.
You need to believe in yourself before you can persuade others to believe in you. All those people who are demoralizing you now will come around when you rise above their fears and uncertainties. When you start living your dreams and consider yourself victorious, you will gain many new allies and advocates as well.
Stand in their Shoes
Making peace with the unsupportive behavior of friends and family is a challenge. You cannot burn all the bridges and flee to a parallel universe. If you want to alleviate the tension and make amends at some point, try standing in their shoes.
Their perception of you is shaped by years of spending time with you. The hesitation or doubts they express could be justifiable, given the life experiences they have shared with you.
If any of these people have previously had a say in important decisions of your life, they might feel obligated to intrude in your personal matters.
Different people in your life may have separate reasons for discouraging the path you want to follow. Some of them should be genuinely worried or afraid to see you struggle and lose. Others might have rather selfish reasons to hold you back.
A friend you trust with your life might even be jealous or envious of your capabilities. Once you discover the true motivation behind someone’s lack of support, it becomes easier to resolve the conflicting emotions within you.
Time heals all Wounds
So if you are dealing with unsupportive family and friends, only time will tell who has your best interests at heart. Sometimes a heart to heart is enough to deliver true sentiments and clear misconceptions. Explain why you want something so bad and how much it means to you if they offer their support.
You can help them identify the side of you they never explored, or simply ignored in the past. They might need time to think over and join your side, so be patient. In the meantime, prioritize yourself and do your best to achieve your goals.
John Adams is a lifestyle blogger who concentrates on health, fitness, and self-development. He encourages readers to fight their fears and overcome obstacles holding them back. He believes that every person can improve the quality of his/her life by incorporating positivity and determination.