Ways to take charge of your marriage and control your happiness. Marriage is a significant event in our lives and ending up with the right partner could bring out the best in us.
On the contrary, for some couples, marriage is all about adjustments, compromises, and a series of daily arguments. How to take charge of your marriage or how to take full responsibility for your marriage?
In this blog, let us discuss a few handy ways which we can use as a reminder for each other in order to make a happy living.
10 Honest Ways To Take Charge Of Your Marriage
It is very important that we find our true purpose in life before we expect things from our partners. Sometimes when we lack purpose and passion in our life, we expect a lot from our life-partner and it is not possible for everyone to fulfill all of them, and then start the real war of love.
There are different ways to take charge of your marriage depending upon the situation you are in but the ways I am going to mention below are very simple and general but kickass ways which can be applied in every situation of your married life and give you relief that you are doing your part with full dedication.
Here are a few honest ways you can take charge of your marriage:
1.) Be honest with each other
The thumb rule of a marriage, be honest with each other. No matter what mistake you committed or what consequences you fear, get into the habit of being honest and transparent with your life-partner.
Honesty is indeed the best policy and you have nothing to lose, you are firm and clear about what you do and it builds a lot of trust in the relationship which is definitely one of the proven ways to take charge of your marriage.
2.) Don’t try to control your partner
Don’t try to control your partner, try to control and work on the problems. Sometimes the problems become so huge that the person loses its essence buried inside it. You don’t have a problem with your husband or wife, do you? You have a problem with their certain sets of behavior, their attitude towards a situation, isn’t it?
So how about fixing those problems together, and how do we do it by breaking the pattern of poor communication and bridging the gap with clear and proper communication between you two.
3.) Choose to give space
Do you know that giving your partner some space or a little personal time is one of the best ways to take charge of your marriage? True love, attention, and care don’t come by hovering over each other and going those extra miles to get attention. You just have to be you and let your partner be himself
When you allow some healthy space for each other, you get time to evaluate things, and when you constantly bicker or nag over seeking attention you accumulate a lot of stress inside you which no one can release for you, only you have to take this step to ease yourself.
4.) Become co-learner
There is a lot you both can do together, have you ever thought of being co-learners? I have hardly seen couples joining salsa classes together or going for any skill-enhancing course together? We usually feel like getting an escape from each other but on the contrary, when you join hands and become co-learners you lift each other.
This can also be done at home, where you can pass each other some knowledge you possess and it not only helps you learn something new but also helps to discover something new about teaching others. Just grab a cup of coffee and sit together, have some constructive conversation.
5.) Friends first
I and my husband were always friends first and even if we decide to part our ways someday, the friend in me will help him to move on. That’s what a relationship should be about.
Even in the most critical situation, I have thought as a friend first and then like a wife, which always nullified the chances of us getting into arguments or fights and saved a lot of sanity for us in return.
With the emails and messages I receive, I hear stories where women are not being supported by their family members to pursue their passion and make a living out of it.
Reason? Lack of trust, they don’t see a future in your dreams so they don’t trust you for following your dreams? Being a life-partner the best gift you can give to your life-partner is the motivation and encouragement to follow their passion.
7.) Take stand
8.) Stay closer
Closely knitted yet looking in a different direction, you can choose to sit together, holding each other’s hands, and yet choose to look in a different direction. You both don’t have to be perfect or a made for each other kind of couple, but mad for each other kind of couple.
Stay closer and be there for each other, be each other’s safe space.
9.) Plan mini-vacations
We all crave getaways, isn’t it? Plan weekend getaways, if you have small kids take them with you but if you have teenagers who can stay with grandparents then please plan short trips twice a year, it will help to rejuvenate your bond and bring back the lost intimacy.
A relationship is full of a lot of elements and you have to work continuously to make it work exploring each and every corner and that is one of the most beautiful ways to take charge of your marriage.
10.) Be mindful
Be present at the moment, see things as it is after all this is what mindfulness is all about and if you take a closer look, this is all a marriage is all about. Fewer expectations, less running behind perfection, and simple breathing in the moment will surely help you save a lot of sanities.
With a sane mind, you will be able to see things clear, think clearly, and evaluate a situation precisely.
Make your marriage about both of you and not you
Hopefully, by now you are clear that instead of controlling your spouse and fixing him, it is better if we focus on fixing the problems between you guys. Countless marriages fall apart just because we get obsessed over the attempts of controlling each other and dominating each other, what will result in the future?
For somebody who manipulates and demeans his wife that she cowers in fear and hardly speaks, or a cunning wife who so criticizes and speaks harshly to her financially-successful husband that he is reluctant to ever come home from work.
Your marriage is not all about judging each other, expecting each other, and being dependent on each other for everything in your daily life, it is beyond that. It is about a lot many things we tend to ignore in the daily challenges we face in our life, what we forget here is that if we take charge of our marriage and see things mindfully the situations and problems will look minor and we will be able to cope up with them more effectively. Just remember:
- Be each other’s partner in crime
- Compliment each other
- Stand by each other
- Fix each other’s problems
- Learn to let go
- Respect each other
- Make time for sex
- Make time to dream
- Choose each other daily
Unfortunately, marriage is not the ultimate bliss of life. You might go through the roughest patches of your life during your married time. You might doubt your spouse or even lose interest in doing things for him, remember this is perfectly normal in a relationship. All you need to do is take charge of your marriage and make it work again (only if you want to).
In the end, I would say that the most critical-looking things have the easiest solutions in life. You just have to change your way of looking at things and life might surprise you with the beauty it holds for you. Do not search for answers as they hardly get answered in time, but evaluate your question and you might not find it relevant anymore.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.