How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup and re-claim her lost space?
Have you recently lost a relationship? What is harder, staying in that relationship or moving on, does it feel difficult to rebuild yourself after a break-up?
In this blog, I will share some tips which might help you to accept your feelings and work on them.
How Should A Woman Rebuild Her Life Post-Breakup?
The agony of a breakup can be relentless, the pain and emptiness it brings as an aftereffect is beyond imagination. For a woman who attaches a lot of meaning to her relationships, it becomes too difficult to move ahead in life without feeling the vacuum this breakup had created in her life.
Rebuilding life after a breakup is as good as picking up each missing piece in the process of getting in and out of love. Whether you were dating someone or you were married, your partner was your center of the universe and now you are revolving on a free spin, it leaves you agitated, anxious and drained.
I am sharing 11 useful tips that will slowly and gradually help you rebuild your life post-breakup.
11 Useful Tips To Build Your Life Post-Breakup
The pain your broken relationship bought on you, might go away one day but the process takes longer than we expect it to be. Many people will suggest different theories based on their personal experiences and understanding, but you have to find out what works best for you.
Recently, I learned about a theory called “Self-Concept Reorganization“. The process of self-concept reorganization theory is such that it emphasizes an individual to see and define himself as a separate person from their ex and from the relationship. And the reflection helps them to build a stronger sense of who they were as single people. Isn’t it a lovely concept?
How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup? Here are a few insights based on the self-concept reorganization theory:
|1.) See yourself as an individual|
|2.) Start practicing mindfulness|
|3.) Keep questioning yourself|
|4.) Keep an emotional journal|
|5.) Focus on the future|
|6.) Talk to someone|
|7.) Do things that spark joy in you|
|8.) Cut off with negative people|
|9.) Do not stalk your ex on social media|
|10.) Do not rush into a new relationship|
|11.) Give yourself time to heal|
1.) See yourself as an individual
This ‘who am I without you’ notion will get you nowhere and trust me when I say this, you were an individual before you met him and now when he is gone, you are at least left with you. When you say that you are nothing and you have lost everything you lower your self-esteem and damage your confidence even more.
Please start seeing yourself as an individual without him. By this, you can start traveling to the road of reclaiming your lost space.
2.) Start practicing mindfulness
You know mindfulness is a very effective tool, which helps us to see things in the exact volume. It helps us to be in the moment and go with the flow.
With mindfulness we become the observer of our thoughts, bringing awareness to us. We are able to create space around our thought process and remove the clouded thoughts surrounding them.
3.) Keep questioning yourself
How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup? By being a seeker. Where do you see yourself in the next few years? Where would this path lead you? Or will it even matter after a few years? Questions like these will help you to focus on what matters.
I will suggest you ask such questions and write down the answers till the day you are not content with the answer, the day you become sure is the day you start re-building yourself.
4.) Keep an emotional journal
How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup? Taking note of your emotions. To rebuild something, to fix something broken, you need to sit with it and see it shattered into pieces before you actually start picking them.
When you begin to write about, you vent out, you make a passage outwards for all the held emotions. It will help you to release and ease you if you do it daily.
5.) Focus on the future
It is said that all we have is present and all that matters is our future, the past is gone and there is nothing we can do about it. Our future awaits us and the road we choose today will decide our destination.
In this journey of life, today is all we have, maybe that’s why it is called as ‘present’, so value this present and focus on the future.
6.) Talk to someone
We often go into isolation, shut ourselves down, which is a natural outcome of a breakup or heartache. But when you think you are ready, please talk to someone. Sometimes talking to someone helps you to see things from a different perspective.
Share the mental load with your friends and the ones who care, let them help you.
7.) Do things that spark joy in you
How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup? By doing what you love to do. For our partners we stop doing so many things, damn and one day they just leave us. Screw them!
Start living your life, the life you always wanted, and the little things you always wanted to do. Reclaim your life and choose joy this time.
8.) Cut off with negative people
Now, when you are going through a bad-breakup phase, you will not be spared from judgmental friends or relatives or that nosy neighbor. they will purposely ask you about him and make you feel more hurtful.
If you feel that being in touch what certain people disturbs you more, draw a healthy boundary, and avoid contacting them. Build your happy circle.
9.) Do not stalk your ex on social media
With the advent of social media, even when we move away from someone physically, we get stuck with them virtually. We talk and want to see what they are up to? Do you know what this will do to you?
It will only leave you anxious and rattling. You will feel stressed and your anxiety will increase, you will go 4 steps behind, from where you started. Please save yourself some sanity and do not follow him anywhere.
10.) Do not rush into a new relationship
A breakup is painful to go through and sometimes we feel that finding someone else will fill that void, fix us, and release us from our emptiness. But do not rush into a new relationship because the person who is new to your new life and might not understand your status of mind.
Few events might even trigger some bad memories and lead to distress, you will not feel in place and again it will affect your present relationship.
11.) Give yourself time to heal
How should a woman rebuild her life post-breakup? Last but not the least, GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL. It is very important that you allow yourself to be in that zone for a while, gather yourself, sort out things, build up yourself, and then move on next.
People will say few things, but you have to take care of your mental health and your emotional wellness, it is possible only when you accept the situation, fall for it but not break because of it.
Take your time, let your heart heal before you rush into things. You will be fine and remember there is always someone to talk to, you just have to reach out.
Lots of love and gratitude
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.