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How Taxing Is Emotional Investment In Relationships?

Emotional investment in relationships is a high volatile investment subjected to maximum risk as it doesn’t come with terms and conditions manual handy. We put in a lot of ourselves in nurturing and replenishing a relationship close to us but it completely shakes our world when it fails.

In this blog, I am going to talk about how we invest love, our emotions and all the energy in one relationship and abandon every other aspect of our life, and when things fall apart, we are left empty and broken.

What is Emotional Investment in relationships?

Being an MBA in finance, I have my ocassional financial musings. I will try to make you understand this in a little logical manner because the ones who say that you should never see profit and loss in a relationship, haven’t been mugged in the name of love yet.

Emotional investment is like living in a Disney land, expecting that you will build a castle with your partner one day. You give all your love, energy, devotion and care to that one person in your life, expecting love in return. A long-term investment with a long-term return plan and is not about being conditional but it is human nature to expect, to emotionally attach with someone at a multidimensional level.

emotional investment in relationships

How too much emotional investment in relationships is hazardous to our health?

Too much emotional investment in relationships is hazardous to your mental health if you are the one who gives too much in your relationship if you are the one who goes out of the way to make things work if you are the one who is always emotionally available to pacify your partner and last but not the least if you are tired of being taken for granted all the time.

5 truths about Emotional Investment in relationships

Here are a few logical truths about emotionally draining relationships, that leaves you empty and builds a vacuum beyond imagination. And then you just gather all the pieces every day, stand up, show up and then go back to fix your missing pieces. It is like getting sucked by some energy vampire every day and fighting with it at the same time.

1.) No returns guaranteed

No matter how much you invest, there is no guarantee that you will be loved the same way and with the same dedication.

2.) Emotions cannot be quantified

How much is too much in love, how much is too much in being emotionally connected with someone? You can’t explain, you cannot measure the amount of love and emotions you attach to a person and it leaves you rattling.

3.) Subjected to maximum risk

No guarantee, no returns and subjected to high risk. The true virtue of a person is only known under different circumstances.

4.) Liability in the long term

An emotionally drained relationship becomes a mental liability in the long term.

5.) Fluctuating dividend

Fluctuating dividends with no growth opportunities, time to revamp the management of your personal emotions.

3 sane tips to save yourselves from the menace

Now, I learned it a little hard. So here are 3 important things you can do to save your sanity.

1.) Withdraw

Learn to leave things sometimes, you cannot fix it all, you can’t have all the answers and solutions. Don’t take all the pressure and burden to make things work, It is your partner’s duty too.

2.) Diversify

Do not restrict yourself to your duties towards your partner. Invest in yourself, upgrade yourself, upskill yourself. Learn new things and never stop following your passion.

3.) Save your sanity

The best savings you could do for your future self and the only saving you need if you are trapped in a toxic relationship. All the other things will fall in the right place if you’re all right from the inside.

Love and light

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Emotional Investment In Relationships

Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.


This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla and sponsored by Queen’s Brigade.

This Post Has 35 Comments

  1. Harjeet Kaur

    I have always been a sucker for this. You have written about it so well and am sure you work on it too. I attach too much emotion to every relationship. Yes, I suffer because of it too. I dunno how not to. Wish I could detach myself.

  2. MommyShravmusings

    You have written it so well Priyanka. Withdraw and Diversify are the best tips one can give to anyone. We need to learn that art of withdrawing and diversifying, then only we can save our sanity

  3. Yes, emotional detachment is not so easy yet so important for one’s own well-being. You’ve written nicely on such a lovely topic. I can detach myself so well that it makes me keep myself relaxed and comfortable.

  4. aditi

    I know it’s not advisable to invest emotionally in a relationship especially when the returns are not assured. But. The matter of emotions can’t be simplified and I fail to understand the concept of emotional detachment in every relationship.

  5. Jigna Vora

    There is something like a mental defence mechanism that gets triggered at some point…when you can no longer give and give, you mentally shut down and dettach…while that may be ideal for your emotional self, it may be an extreme response…
    I guess what i am trying to say is…balance is key to happiness…not too much and not too less…also you cannot love someone unless you are happy and feel your own balance…
    Dusro ki jai se pehle, khud ko jai kare 🙂

  6. myworldwitheira

    Upskill, upgrade and investing in ourselves is the best advice you have given Priyanka. This is such an informative blog that everyone feels and need to take proper measures. We do tend to invest too much emotionally and forget ourselves in the long run.

  7. Ritu

    An interesting way of viewing relationships from a financial investment point of view. Relationships are much like a volatile market. You can get the rug pulled from under your feet. Your tips are on point. Never invest too much in your partner, invest in yourself too.

  8. Vasumathi

    Another heartfelt post Priyanka! One feels the most drained when an emotional investment with a partner goes down. However, the same is true of most relationships too. I have known some parents who have taken so much from their kids, both physical as well as financial support, but have failed to reciprocate to even inquire after their well being when they have been ill. I have personally experienced this blow in friendships as well, as I failed to read the person correctly and assumed that they would stand by me like how i did with them. Learnt it the hard way with some emotional downtime. But served me well in the end I guess as Iam now a stronger and smarter person.

  9. Raghav Dudeja

    I won’t be surprised if you’d come up with fundamental analysis of a relationship. I loved the way you connected it with the world of finance.

  10. Priyanka, I feel you… really, that emptiness is heaviest to carry. Happy relationships are hard to create and even harder to maintain.
    And when you are in a relationship with someone, and it’s not working the way you thought, and it breaks, You feel the world is ending for you and hope of living is lost somewhere. But I feel staying in a wrong relationship and investing our emotions can hurt more than a break-up. Invest in people and relationships that invest in you.

  11. Satabdi

    Those two steps – withdrawing and diversifying–that you have mentioned seem so simple but are not easy to do. I’ve experienced it and I still find it challenging to let go of things beyond my control. I keep telling myself that having control of someone is an illusion. It will not last.

  12. Shail Thosani

    So very true when you are the one completely involved in your relationship and you give your all emotionally it hurts you the most as you never get equally back. The most difficult part is withdrawing becuase you have become so emotionally invested and drained in the relationship you do not even realise how much you are losing yourself.

    1. Priyanka Nair

      Withdrawing is very difficult but sometimes people make you do it

  13. mominprocessnow

    So Brutally true… Withdrawing yourself from the additional responsibility works the best in the sense that it relieves you from a lot of burden. It is in human nature that when you take responsibility, the other person always relies on you to work for it. For me, every toxic relationship/friendship was mended and stopped troubling as soon I detached myself from it.

    1. Priyanka Nair

      True, we only learn to detach when we were too attached to someone once and they broken us part

  14. Take a bow, Priyanka! This is a fantastic post! Loved the way you have related the concept of investment and returns in emotional bonds. Keep writing such inspiring posts!

  15. Abha Mondal

    It really hurts when you are Investing too much in a relationship and not getting back the same. And I totally agree that the true virtue of a person is only known under different circumstances. Great post as always.

  16. Sweta Papaiyawala

    Usually I easily get attached to the ones I love. Such a detailed post on emotional attachment. Loved it to core.

  17. Madhu Bindra

    I am very old school about this. I have had 46 years of experience. I don’t think you can detach yourself from relationships. But times sure are changing.

    1. Priyanka Nair

      Yes aunty, we can’t detach and it’s heartbreaking to see people completely detaching from their partner and that’s when you start building some walls. Relationships has lost tolerance and patience.

  18. Definitely a whole new perspective to relationship and made better to understand and I loved the first quote especially

  19. Radhika Jindal

    You said it right. we cann’t fix everything. hence, we should leave a few things. I also get emotional with every relationship ad then end up hurting myself with expectations. your post is helpful.

  20. nooranandchawla

    A very interesting and unique analogy Priyanka – and one that certainly rings true.

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