How to deal with a breakup alone? Yes, because when we are in love we two become one, and now when one gets separated, we become another one, and that seems so “alone”.
We come across so many heart-wrenched, parched, broken souls around us carrying their pieces of heart. Crying out in pain and feeling so sorry for themselves. Doubting their own efforts they had put in their relationships and losing their inner spark.
Let this blog be about venting out, ranting, and giving it back to the soul crushers.
How To Deal With A Breakup Alone?
Ok, so now he is gone. While I write this blog, I am not a married woman and a mother, I see myself as a teenager who once suffered heartache as an aftermath of a breakup. No, no I don’t miss him at all, but what I remember is the closure part, how many of us gets a proper closure from our past relationships? Hardly any.
If you sit quietly without howling over the fact that you are alone, and think a little rationally you will understand it is not the sadness of losing the person but losing it the way it happened.
We start fresh, we start anew, we connect our dreams and desire to THE ONE and suddenly the one is gone and all our dreams and desires shatter like those Jenga blocks as we move a single piece from its place. BOOM.
How do we fix those missing pieces and how do we move on without them? That is what makes moving on a little difficult. How to deal with a breakup alone and how to not break ourselves in the process of moving on.
10 Mind-Jolting Ways To Move on From a Breakup
Remember, you cannot actually change someone who doesn’t want to change, so the moral of the story here is we lose someone because maybe we are not meant for each other, maybe someone else is made for us or maybe life has got some other plans. These are the few most common and probable outcomes of this rumbling tragedy.
So what the heck do we do now? How to deal with a breakup alone? Should we pour ourselves into sadness, darkness, and loneliness? Should we be listening to the saddest version of songs and cry a little more, because the lyrics hit so hard with our emotional temperament, or should we over-eat or not eat at all? All these zeroes down on self-harming. Yes, that’s what we do once we lose someone we love, we dwell into self-harm, we treat ourselves miserably, we literally drown our own self.
Will, you ever, ever do this to anybody else around you? Tell me, if a friend of yours calls you and tells you that she had just broke-off with her boyfriend, will you suggest her to stay depressed or help her get over it eventually? Will you listen to her calmly and let her mellow down or hung up on her? You will empathize, right?
That is what you need to do with yourself, pick up the broken pieces and take charge of your life, and here is how we can do it:
|1.) Acknowledge how you are feeling|
|2.) Give yourself time to heal|
|3.) Move to a different place for a while|
|4.) Take a break from your regular life|
|5.) Social Media Detox works|
|6.) Accept that you might not get the closure|
|7.) Take this time to re-invent yourself|
|8.) De-clutter and organize stuff at your home|
|9.) Just block your ex from everywhere|
|10.) Establish a new routine|
1.) Acknowledge how you are feeling
I know this is one of the worst feelings to feel, but I am sure almost everyone goes through this phase in their life. We do not choose to but we put ourselves in certain circumstances from which we cannot escape. It is alright, let it sink in, accept it, acknowledge it, inhale it and then exhale it hard. Throw it out.
2.) Give yourself time to heal
When the going gets tough, you don’t have to become tough immediately. How to deal with a breakup alone? Allow yourself to breathe, it takes time to become fully aware of your feelings and to learn to control your awful emotions. Allow yourself that time, do not go hard on yourself, and do not listen to what others have to say about your situation. You are in charge of yourself.
3.) Move to a different place for a while
You must have memories attached to your place, those lonely lanes, those garden benches, poolside, or beaches, which will constantly remind you of your ex and leave you rattling inside. It is always good to move to another city for a while or take a mini-vacation. It will not completely eliminate this problem but till the time you gain the strength to conquer how it affects you, you must stay away.
4.) Take a break from your regular life
Your regular life will remind you of your ex and you will somehow find it hard to keep everything like it was before without him, the thoughts will frustrate you and you will become more irritable. How to deal with a breakup alone? By giving yourself some rest. It is better to take a break from your regular life, skip one or two things, and give yourself some rest. Emotional rest.
5.) Social Media Detox works
It works like wonder, I must tell you. You have nothing to lose, even if you are a social media personality, those who love your work will stay. Take a break from the showbiz, the fancy world which portrays the perfect picture of love, perfect families, perfect beauty, and perfect world. It will only make you feel anxious and increase your anxiety levels. Save yourself some sanity.
6.) Accept that you might not get the closure
As I mentioned earlier, we hardly get closures and the thoughts keep lingering on our minds, disturbs us for a very long time and sometimes it also acts as a trigger. How to deal with a breakup alone? Now practically speaking you cannot undo something which is already done but accept how it is done and why it is done. Move on.
7.) Take this time to re-invent yourself
Ok, now this may sound funny with the given situation you are in. But take it as an opportunity to re-work yourself, build yourself again. Gather yourself and fix yourself, no one else is going to do this for you.
8.) De-clutter and organize stuff at your home
De-clutter and minimize, organize your house, the weight and baggage you remove from your place will make you feel lighter. I have tried this practice several times when I feel stressed and it has always helped me in various situations. It diverts your mind and helps you detach from your thought process, a part of healing.
9.) Just block your ex from everywhere
Do not stalk him everywhere, rather block him. The more you try to see what he is doing without you the more it will cause you stress. It is very natural that you will want to know what he is up to now, is he dating someone else or hanging around? But what you will gain is only anxiousness which will become a hurdle for you to move ahead. Drop the baggage of your past, isn’t it too heavy already?
10.) Establish a new routine
A new routine will help you to establish a new you, right from your sleeping, to eating to learning new things, try to adopt a few new practices. We can always learn things that didn’t seem to have worked for us in the past and learn new things for a better tomorrow. Stop for nothing.
In the end, all I have to say is, this shall too pass like everything is temporary, this phase is temporary too but the momentary reality is it kills you and breaks you into million pieces before you gather the courage to hold yourself back. So do it now. No one will give you the power to do it, you will have to grab it and work on yourself.
Take your time and do it when you are ready. Allow yourself to heal before you meet someone else, be sure that you can move ahead and then your life will be sorted out with each step you take. Take care of your mental health, take care of that girl inside you. Lots of love to anyone who is reading this 🙂
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.