Why do people feel numb after a breakup? Either they feel too much or they feel nothing. They put themselves on autopilot mode and go with the flow, or they plan a life ahead. Whatever way one chooses, breakups are painful, exhausting and heartbreaking (literally into million pieces).
Yes, I can say this because I have been there, done that, come on, who hasn’t. Have I overcome it? Not fully, because the wound is deeper and still fresh, but I am allowing myself all the time to heal and process things. What is important here is, the awareness and what I chose to do next? How do I look at my life beyond that ONE person?
Emotional healing takes time, and before anybody else, you need to understand this and allow things to process. How much are you aware of your pain, the root cause of the pain and not blurred by what others say or think about you. This awareness helps you in a way that even when you feel numb, you know this is a process and part of healing, in the long run, it can help you only if you don’t go too harsh on yourself.
Why do people feel numb after a breakup: 3 reasons
Honestly, a breakup is a very small word to describe the whole anatomy of separation and pain this horrible process includes. Reasons could be different based on the circumstances but the pain and suffering touch exactly the same chords of mind and heart for almost everybody.
Here are a few common reasons stating why do people feel numb after a breakup, you are free to add more in the comment section;
1.) For anyone who just went through an unexpected breakup, never thought or planned for a life without their partner, in such an event life takes a 360-degree turn. So when things fall apart, it is sometimes the acceptance part, that creates a hell lot of pain and turbulence in one’s life.
How does one accept that the person who was almost the centre of their universe is no more a part of their life? With their limited or no emotional reactivity, they often feel a lot of emotional distress which hampers their daily life. It is like watching the whole castle you had built once, collapsing right in front of your eyes and you stand there staring at it with frozen feet and blank eyes.
2.) Secondly, with unacceptance sometimes a person lives in denial and keep going back to the toxic patterns, getting stuck in their ex and this very denial causes a deep-rooted fog in the brain, hampering the vision, the clarity.
The loss of a loved one sometimes creates so much pain and trauma that besides feeling numb and lost the person also feel deprived of hope as if there is no tomorrow. Depression and persistent sadness creep in and if they aren’t lucky to have moral support, life becomes a total mess.
3.) Lastly, the lack of awareness of the situation leads to more problems, such as the person being ready to do anything to bring the lost love, ready to fall into the wrong relationship just to escape but not willing to give some time to self and allow the process to do its work.
I know it is not easy, the acceptance, denial and awareness part I am talking about, but trust me these basic mindfulness practises helps you to stay grounded and ease your anxiety. The more aware you are the more right decision you can make for your future self.
The more open you are to accepting what happened, the more you help yourself to overcome the pain and suffering, instead of focusing on why it happened.
The more you live in denial you make the process even harder, the more you stalk your ex, the more you carry the baggage of your past, the more difficult it becomes to even walk a single step.
I have come across this statement often where it is said that “Hurt people hurt others“, I never fully believed it until I experienced it for myself. Don’t let the bitterness of one relationship spread in other aspects of your life, don’t let that one person change the definition of love you knew.
And, most importantly don’t let one relationship leave you appalled to an extent where you start doubting your own self. You have got this, you can overcome this, just trust the process.
Love and light
Priyanka is a published author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you, Ardhaviram and Broken & Beautiful. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.