Relationships in the 21st century might have evolved but at the same time, it has become a tad difficult to sustain that longevity in relationships. You can try but there are a few relationship problems you cannot fix even though you give your 100% in making things work.
In this blog, I am going to share 5 such relationship problems you go through in your daily life but find too consuming and energy-draining to deal with.
Please note, all the examples are from real-life stories that I come across during the sessions I conduct.
How relationship problems are stressful?
Did you know? Our GenZ is least likely to say that their mental health is good due to the relationship stress they go through in their daily life. The American Psychological Association (APA) periodically surveys for stress in the American public, and since 2013, teens have reported higher levels of stress than adults. In the 2018 APA survey, teens reported worse mental health and higher levels of anxiety and depression than all other age groups.
A 2019 analysis by Jean Twenge, author of iGen and psychology professor at San Diego State University, showed that between 2005 and 2017, teens and young adults experienced a significant rise in serious psychological distress. Source: The Developmental Science
So why is this happening? At such a tender, young age when they need to do beautiful things and stay happy they are getting entrapped in stress and depression? How will they be able to sustain relationships? Will they be able to handle relationship stress?
So now before I share the 5 biggest problems in any relationship, I would like to speak about the 5 important ingredients needed to stir a relationship that we all know but forget with time:
Trust is the foundation for any relationship to bloom. A relationship without trust is like an empty space heading to nowhere.
2.) Clear communication
Most of the relationship problems disappear where there is crystal clear communication between the two people. When you exactly know the channel of communication is open, you never hide things from each other.
Although we should never be dependent on our partner for our happiness, perhaps our partner should be reliable enough to make us feel secure and cared for, as we share a part of our life with them.
A relationship is a life-long commitment, that involves a lot many duties and responsibilities one must be willing to accept open-heartedly. It’s not only the loyalty part here but mutual respect and sense of belonging that play a vital role.
Love is the essence of a relationship and many relationship problems start creeping in when either one of the partners stops expressing love taking the other one for granted. Love is to express and value.
Here are a few possible reasons contributing to rising relationship problems and leading people to distress
1.) Social Media
With so much exposure and end number of options, I have recently come across two cases where a husband is involved with other woMEN or girls younger than him, making fake profiles, using apps like Tinder secretly.
When the wife confronted him, he told her that she needs to lose weight then he will stop doing what he is doing, Another one said talking to younger girls keeps him stress-free and “I am just talking not meeting anyone” so what is the problem here?
Who is to blame here? How is a woman or in some cases men responsible for the other one’s behavior? Where are we heading to?
2.) Poor Communication
Hiding things, being secretive, not involving the partner in any family decisions are a few signs of poor communication. Misunderstanding is highly disastrous for any relationship and where there is a lack of healthy communication all this goes beyond misunderstanding and misinterpretation.
Leading to questions that are never answered, sometimes a wife is also asked to stay away from any financial decisions and yet she has to go through the adjustment part when things fall apart due to an uncertain and uninformed decision.
With reference to point number one, this is a step ahead. An extra-marital affair, adultery, infidelity can have a devastating impact on any relationship.
It is also one of the leading causes of divorce and separation, even leaving the other one to depression and social isolation for a longer time. Research says, just to have a place to stay and secure their children’s future women are found to be more likely to forgive sexual infidelity whereas men find it the most difficult to forgive this act. But how does it help her personally?
4.) Substance abuse and Financial Challenges
One of the most common relationship problems I guess, alcohol consumption and financial stress go hand in hand. I have known cases where a person has poured all his earning and savings into sufficing his addiction.
The wife could not help and saw her relationship dying in front of her. She had loan recovery people at her doorstep, phone calls from money lenders, and a lot of social humiliation to face. And the relationship lost all the spark, trust, and love.
5.) Lack of intimacy
Intimacy in our society has been linked to sexual connotations, but it also involves sharing of one’s self and feeling closer to one’s partner in many ways. Intimacy is maintained by engagement in intimate conversation (Brunell, Pilkington & Webster, 2007; Kirby, Baucom & Peterman, 2005) and is considered a major part of romantic relationships.
It is also an important factor for psychological wellbeing and is linked to positive and satisfying relationships, whereas a lack of intimacy results in trust issues, disconnection and emotional distress in realtionship.
To conclude, I would say that today such relationship problems leading to divorce or separation is no big deal but to its contrary, it is an alarming issue with the rising number of such cases the family life and personal lie goes for a toss forever and mental illness cases have also been rising.
People attach meaning to their relationship, they attach a part of their life with their partner and when they leave, they don’t know how to survive and that emptiness is more disturbing than any divorce, social norms, judgments. With mindful conversation, little sensitivity and a sense of belongingness relationships could be saved. Be there and be aware.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.