Qualities of a good mother in law every daughter-in-law craves for. The idea of marriage doesn’t only involve finding a suitable groom but decent in-laws too, especially a mother in law.
We spend most of our time with our family members and when we get along well, life becomes a little easy and if anyone of your in-law creates difficulties in your path then it becomes a real headache to live with them under the same roof.
In this blog, we will discuss what a daughter in law wants in her mother in law and what she doesn’t.
Qualities Of A Good Mother in Law
What is a relationship all about? The right amount of balancing the act between some good and some bad qualities we all possess? We as women could be a different story if we lift each other instead of demeaning and belittling each other.
How many evolves versions of stories we have heard in comparison to a toxic version of a mother in law story? Why is it normal to accept the bad behavior of a mother in law and continue to survive one another day while whittling yourselves.
Getting off on the right foot with our mother in law helps us both build a strong, It also allows your family to accept you as their own and treat you uniformly. So what are the qualities of a good mother in law and what are the bad ones? Let us just talk about a few good ones first, qualities which are not something out of this world but its absence destroys the peace and harmony of the house.
What are the good qualities of a mother in law which can help a daughter in law to bloom?
Listing a few good qualities we as daughters-in-law crave as we enter our new family. I know any relationship requires equal efforts from both the ends, but it’s the ability of an evolved mother in laws which can play a major role in shaping the thought process of her daughter in law.
An evolved mother in law is a woman who is secure and independent enough to not just accept a new member in her family but also respect her. She will be intellectually bright as an individual and will truly understand the meaning of starting a new life and having one’s own space.
She is the best kind of mother in law to have. If you have such a mother in law, you have surely hit the jackpot. An evolved mother in law is the best of the types of Indian mothers-in-law.
It is natural when two people share a space, sometimes there could be differences in opinions and ideologies mismatch. But here if your mother in law chooses to demean you then it will only ruin the peace and harmony of the house.
Instead, if you both respect each other’s opinions and even if she feels you are wrong, she can have a peaceful approach to make her daughter in law understand, which will not hurt her sentiments either.
No matter what she says to you if by the end of the day she does something to show her kindness she is absolutely unharmful. If you know she is kind deep down inside then she will protect you.
She may not show it all the time but is her kindness which keeps things going on between you two and it is certainly one of the best qualities of a good mother in law to cherish.
A compassionate mother in law will be a woman filled with love, empathy, and affection for you. The fact that you are married to her son will be a matter of kindness for her. She will do every bit possible to make you her own.
She will make an effort to genuinely provide you with love like your own mother. Having a compassionate mother in law will keep you at peace and sane at all times.
What is that one thing we all want from our near and dear ones? The ability to understand our pain and stress? The ability to listen to us without being judgmental and biased.
So consider yourself blessed if you are among those very very few daughters in law if you have such a mother in law who can empathize with you.
Ok, so your mother in law might not be that perfect one, the one who loves you like your mother but if she considers your shortcomings and helps you in odd situations then it is not a bad quality at all.
One of the qualities of a good mother in law is that she considers you as a part of her family and supports you when you need her by your side, which is simply great.
What are the bad qualities of a mother in law which breaks a daughter in law’s spirit?
Mothers in law have earned this reputation worldwide I guess, they hardly are kind towards their daughter in law and would completely live in denial they have some good skills. The complete, they get jealous and they even belittle their own daughter in law, what for? To satisfy their ego? Nevertheless, they are still unhappy.
An arrogant mother in law is self-centered. Her arrogance actually stems from her deep underlying inferiority complex. This is exactly why she acts superior all the time. Having an arrogant mother in law can be demeaning at so many levels. Set healthy boundaries with her right from the beginning.
A biased mother in law will choose anything else but not you. She will prefer anyone but not you. She might even not like the food you cook for the simple fact that it cooked by you. Everything which involves you involves her denial and pessimism. Do not take her personally.
A jealous mother in law is the one who is extremely critical of everything you do and everything you choose is proof that your mother in law is jealous of you. Instead of appreciating you when you deserve it if your mother in law criticizes you, she has envy within her for you, which leaves us wondering as to what we can do to change this.
The ones who do not respect you and belittle you should stay away from you. If there is a lack of respect and care and in any relationship then it will surely screw itself in the future so prevent it from further damage take an early step and save yourself some sanity for yourself for better things in life.
Being ungrateful towards you no matter what you do is one of the meanest qualities of a mother in law. Ingratitude is one of the biggest signs of an envious person. It makes even the greatest people fall and instills a long-lasting hatred in relations.
A nosy mother in law is in the habit of poking her nose in every life decision concerning you, your husband, and also your children. She doesn’t have much to do in her own life and hence wants to keep interfering to have a say in everything. Having a nosy mother in law can prove to be a constant headache. Try to help her out with this attitude.
Having said that, you keep doing your bit. A happy household goes a long way in one’s happiness. So strive for it. Work on yourself and walk away set boundaries, maintain a polite distance from anything, and anyone that brings drama to your life.
Lots of love and gratitude
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.