“Is your mother in law jealous of you?” Has this thought ever crossed your mind? Has this feeling ever made you uncomfortable? Has this question made you uneasy and doubtful of your relationship with your mother in law? If yes, it’s time you start to look for the signs.
No human being is perfect so how can mothers in law be perfect? Envy is one of the most common traits in our species. It has affected us all. Therefore, next time this question of “is your mother in law jealous of you” pops up in your mind, think deeply and observe around with a far greater level of awareness.
There are endless homes in which right from the day of marriage, a daughter in law is pitched against her mother in law. A few behavior signs will make you realize in case your husband’s mom is jealous of you? In my current blog, I will make an effort to answer this question responsibly and factually.
Is your mother in law jealous of you?
If you are one of that daughter in laws who have been sensing signs of envy from your mother in law but are unsure, it is time you find out the truth. As a society, we are taught to respect our elders. Hence, we miss out on the basic trait that defines us all – imperfection.
Respect does not mean that we overlook the flaws of our elders. On the contrary, we should help them become better human beings. Unless we know their flaws, how can we possibly resolve issues and let go of negativity?
Therefore, by the means of this blog, let me share some behavioral traits that will help you in understanding is your mother in law jealous of you?
10 Traits that Prove your Mother in Law is Jealous of you
A number of traits define a jealous mother in law. However, I have enlisted the 10 most important traits of a jealous mother in law in another blog written by me. These are the key characteristics of an envy ridden mother in law.
Jealousy is like a dangerous infection. Not only does it consume the person affected by it but it also makes the life of everybody else miserable. No wonder jealous mother in laws openly exhibits characteristics of negativity, thankless behavior, rudeness, superficiality, and conformity.
As a responsible daughter in law, it is your duty to save yourself and your family from such toxic behavior. Enabling a jealous mother in law will ruin your family. So do not enable her. Instead, find out ways to counter that kind of jealousy.
Toxic Signs to Watch for if you Sense Jealousy from your Mother in Law
I am sharing a list of toxic signs to watch out for if you sense any kind of jealousy from your mother in law. Even if you feel the slightest hint of envy, please go to your mother in law and talk things out. Tell her that her jealousy will split the family apart. Also, it will affect her the most because jealousy is self-consuming.
Here are the danger signs to beware of as a daughter in law. These are definite signs that answer the question of, “is your mother in law jealous of you ?”
If you are wondering if your mother in law jealous of you and she seems to be overpowering, get this straight – yes she holds envy against you. Her overpowering nature is a sign of her insecurity. She feels insecure in your presence.
Aggressive mother in laws is often jealous of their daughter in laws. Hence, if your mother in law gets aggressive quickly and that too without a reason, she is trying to silence you. In this way, she tries to demean you. Therefore, she is jealous of you.
A normal person doesn’t get provoked. But a jealous person with a personal vendetta surely gets provoked on even small things. Hence, if you are wondering if your mother in law jealous of you and she is getting provoked, yes she is envious of you.
Ingratitude is the meanest quality in a person. If your mother in law seems to be displaying that more often, she surely is jealous of you. She will never be happy with anything you do. Thanklessness is a vicious disease and must be cured.
True victims don’t publicize themselves. Only, fake individuals play the victim. Hence, if you are struggling with the question is your mother in law jealous of you and your MIL plays victim all the time, she surely is envious of you to the core. She might use this as a weapon to shield herself.
Constant comparison is reflective of an innate inferiority complex. So if your mother in law is in the irksome habit of constantly comparing herself with you, she has a burning sense of jealousy against you. Right from cooking, to dressing to any small thing she will try to show you that she was and is the best at doing things.
Everybody should respect one another’s personal space. Intrusion is never good. However, a jealous person will most certainly invade your space. So this is a sign to watch out for if present in your mother in law.
Going behind your back and speaking ill of you is the biggest sign of your mother in law’s jealousy. The most common of all the signs. So in case you’re wondering is your mother in law jealous of you, oh yes, she is envious of you.
If your mother in law comes across as a control freak in almost everything, she is surely jealous of you. This worrisome trait needs to be monitored. Hence, start doing something substantial about it or it will take away your mental peace from you.
Mothers of men who are jealous of their daughter in laws often have an overbearing persona. This is a sure shot sign of latent jealousy that is just waiting to come out at you in toxic ways. Please handle it before things go bleak.
If you’re wondering is your mother in law jealous of you and she shows streaks of arrogance, she is envious. Her arrogance is a way to put you down and establish power over you. I have specifically mentioned ten ways to deal with an arrogant mother in law.
Derogatory words are bad for anyone. Hence, if your mother in law seems to be using a lot, she is definitely jealous of you. In fact, she is trying hard to pull you down from a loving pedestal.
Hypocrisy is a key trait in a jealous person. Therefore, if your mother in law comes across as a hypocrite and a two-faced woman, she is not only envious but also unethical as a human being.
If your mother in law is willingly absent from social events like your birthday, a party you host, your child’s birthday etc. she is jealous of you deeply. That is why she does not want to be a part of your happiness.
Lastly, if you are getting bothered by the question is your mother in law jealous of you and she doesn’t seem to show respect at all, yes she is envious. Her disrespectful personality becomes hard to deal with. Also, she is an inferiority complex stricken person.
What Causes Jealousy in Mother in Laws ?
I often wonder, Why does a mother in laws get jealous? And I feel the number one reason for feeling envy is insecurity. This holds true not just for mom in laws but also for people in general. Insecurity has driven more families crazy than even financial instability. Especially women fall prey to this malady. A mother in law an insecure sister in law find it too hard to accept a new woman in their son/brother’s life and begins the trouble in paradise.
It is anyway not easy dealing with in laws living with you. So to add to the ruckus, the insecurity of a jealous mother in law is a nightmare. It makes your living worse and a part of daily struggle in your life.
A mother in law that feels that her son has landed up a more beautiful, talented and intelligent daughter in law than her will end up being insecure. Now, this is sad and ironic because in laws want these qualities in a son’s wife and when they exactly find the same in a girl they try to demean her, why so much insecurity?
Why are Mom in Laws Insecure?
The general rule of thumb for insecurity is the feeling to lose your ground. This means that you are no longer in power now. They feel they are being replaced and no one will listen to her or admire her now. However, this is an assumption in the head of insecure people and not necessarily a reality.
Mom in laws can get secure if –
Their sons spend more time with their wives
Their sons appreciate their wives more than their mothers
Their daughter in laws handle responsibility better than them
Their daughter in laws look more graceful than them
Their daughter in laws earn more money than they ever did
All these are petty reasons because, in order for a family to grow and evolve, and able daughter in law is needed. Hence, the entire onus of fixing the trait of jealousy lies with the mother in law itself.
Emotional Insecurity is a Mental Illness
As shocking as it may sound but emotional insecurity is closely connected with mental health conditions such as anxiety, paranoia, and even narcissism. All these underlying causes lead to emotional insecurity and in turn cause jealousy. It is part of the person’s nature and the metrics vary from individual to individual.
Your mother in law is a human being. Hence, having issues related to mental health are normal. People around an insecure person might feel that insecurity is arising because of superficial reasons. The real problem is that they are not aware of the underlying issue and don’t want to face their reality. However, in actuality, it stems from deep-seated mental health issues.
Fixing Jealousy in Mother in Laws
As pointed above, the onus of fixing the trait of jealousy lies with the mother in law itself. However, you can help her fix it by honestly talking about it. Trust me, decent communication solves way more problems than indecent silence. You can try to communicate, make her understand things and make her see what her behavior is leading to. Ask her if she really wants this to happen?
Getting annoyed on a mother in law who is arrogant is natural but the fact is you have to live with her or at least frequently confront her because she is your husband’s mother. All you can do is try to mend things from your end, if you sense a high level of jealousy and insecurity in your mother in law, talk to her. Try to mellow her down and show her the real picture. Ask her to get some life, live free, and enjoy her time.
Hold your mother in laws’ hand and tell her that getting her son married means bringing a more positive person in his life. It means now her son has two people along his side. It does not mean letting go of people who exist already. Exactly the way she entered her husband’s life and traveled a beautiful journey as a family. This single thought will help her forge the bond between her and you. Try it! You have nothing to lose, even if she doesn’t come around the satisfaction of trying to make things work will keep your spirits high.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.