The biggest mistakes of mothers in law are that they feel a daughter in law is their property now and they can make use of her as per their wish. Without any sentimental attachment, without any emotions, they just continue to play their notorious games.
In this blog, I am going to share as good as 38 biggest mistakes mothers in law make but never accept any one of them. Your life as a daughter in law becomes so chaotic with her part of mistakes and still, she continues to be the same nasty version of herself, leaving you in pain and disgust.
I am not a therapist or psychologist, but I am here to hear from you, to be there for you, without being judgmental. So welcome to my safe space ladies:)
38 Biggest Mistakes Of Mothers in Law
We all make mistakes but only mothers in law are trained to find all of them. She will never be satisfied with what her daughter in law does, she will never appreciate her and she will hurt her. She will hate her daughter in law for being herself, and then she expects her to forget her own family and treat there like her mother. Mother is a divine feeling which comes naturally, respect can never be commanded. You earn respect for your actions and wisdom.
Here are a few blunders that mothers in law make and makes a daughter in law’s life total chaos.
|1.) She doesn’t respect you|
|2.) She is impolite with you|
|3.) She loves drama|
|4.) She ignores you|
|5.) She makes you feel left out|
|6.) She discriminates|
|7.) She is biased|
|8.) She expects a lot from you|
|9.) She is super insensitive|
|10.) She is arrogant|
|11.) She always discourages you|
|12.) She prefers finding faults|
|13.) She holds grudges|
|14.) She is full of greed|
|15.) She is nosy|
|16.) She doesn’t know the meaning of empathy|
|17.) She could be jealous|
|18.) She demeans you in public|
|19.) She doesn’t like you talking to your parents|
|20.) She interferes between you and your husband|
|21.) She tries to influence your kids|
|22.) She tries to manipulate your husband|
|23.) She gaslights|
|24.) She is insecure|
|25.) She is full of herself|
|26.) She can’t see things as it is|
|27.) She will never appreciate you|
|28.) She lies to gain sympathy|
|29.) She gives you anxiety|
|30.) She doesn’t care about boundaries|
|31.) Pretending to be nice|
|32.) She brags about herself|
|33.) She doesn’t like your bond with her son|
|34.) She gives her uncalled advice|
|35.) She always compares|
|36.) She always complains|
|37.) She doesn’t believe in the idea of peace|
|38.) She never wants to evolve|
1.) She doesn’t respect you
The root of all the biggest mistakes of mothers in law. They don’t see you as another human, another woman just like her who has feelings. They prefer to continue being disrespectful towards their own daughters in law just to make them feel small and inferior to her.
2.) She is impolite with you
The most basic nature of a nasty mother in law you will come across, I am sure that this is something you all have witnessed or personally experienced. They are impolite to the core, they just can’t talk normally with their daughters in law.
3.) She loves drama
Do you know the other biggest mistake mothers in law make? A toxic behavior pattern of a melodramatic mother in law. They create a high-voltage drama with their actions which involves every family member, she will be the one sulking in it and literally crying, in the end, you will end up appeasing her.
4.) She ignores you
Another blunder almost every mother in law commits is of staying ignorant to you. A mother in law who ignores you certainly doesn’t respect your feelings and how you feel when she dismisses you.
5.) She makes you feel left out
A common scenario in many households, she assumes herself as the queen of the house and you are an unpaid caregiver for the family. She loves her authority and fears losing control. Hence she will always make you feel left out.
6.) She discriminates
There are high chances of you facing discrimination between you and your sister in law, or you and another daughter in law in the house, or lastly you and your husband too. You will never be welcomed equally.
7.) She is biased
As she is discriminating then obviously she is biased towards you. One of the biggest mistakes of mothers in law is such that they become so blinded by their ego that they hardly see what they are doing.
8.) She expects a lot from you
The burden of expectation every daughter in law carries on her shoulders. She is supposed to be a perfectionist, a well-balanced person, a creative soul, and an organized one too. But even if you get one, your expectations don’t cease here, you want more.
9.) She is super insensitive
Oops! You just hit her weak cord, now be prepared to get assaulted honey. I have heard the same stories over the years and years that how a mother in law has struggled in her life, but I always wonder what does all the experiences made out of her? Sensitive, that’s it?
10.) She is arrogant
She could be incredibly rude and arrogant towards you. She hardly respects your sentiments and keeps on belittling you for even petty reasons. An arrogant mother in law is hard to please so drop that idea right away.
11.) She always discourages you
You sometimes seek help from her, discuss your dilemmas with her, that is your way of getting along with her. But the one who prefers to stay ignorant will see no good in your persuasion, she will rather discourage you with her further ignorance.
12.) She prefers finding faults
One of the favorite yet biggest mistakes of mothers in law. It is like you are on their radar 24*7, you make one mistake and you are out. She is so obsessed with you that she notices you day in and out and keeps on finding faults in you.
13.) She holds grudges
Yes, that forgive and forget attitude is nowhere near her. She holds grudges and will always bring past incidents in present arguments. This way you will find yourself in that vicious circle forever.
14.) She is full of greed
The most disgusting mistake of a mother in law. Some mothers in law feel that a daughter in law is their bearer check. The biggest mistake they make here to see them as a source of fulfilling their greed. How pathetic is that?
15.) She is nosy
She is in the habit of poking her nose in every life decision concerning you, your husband, and also your children. Having a nosy mother in law can prove to be a constant headache. Try to help her out with this attitude or you will be in a fix.
16.) She doesn’t know the meaning of empathy
Tell me that! Have you ever seen your mother in law nodding her head in approval of your feelings? Empathizing a quality which comes with experience and your level of understanding other’s situations, their problem, a mother in law who is so full of herself will never be able to see your problems.
17.) She could be jealous
Mothers in law could be jealous too. They hate it when you get compliments and appreciation. They hate it when her son enjoys a meal cooked by you, her insecurity makes her helpless and she can’t help but envy you.
18.) She demeans you in public
Another biggest mistakes of mothers in law are that they demean their own family member in front of others, just because they carry this notion of you as an outsider in their house. She forgets who she is humiliating here is her own.
19.) She doesn’t like you talking to your parents
None of them do. No mother in law is comfortable with your bond and connection with your own parents after marriage. They want you to concentrate here, a place where you are demeaned and if she hears you sharing your feelings with your parents, then you are labeled as a homewrecker and your parents become interfering.
20.) She interferes between you and your husband
She doesn’t care about your privacy, she will even jump in between an ongoing conversation between you and your husband. She interferes a lot in each and every decision you both take.
21.) She tries to influence your kids
This is the worst of all, the biggest mistakes of mothers in law are that they are of this saddening opinion that if their daughter in law has snatched her son from her, she will also snatch her kids. It is her poor mentality that needs immediate attention.
22.) She tries to manipulate your husband
She will try to alter the facts and misrepresents what you said. She would lie and bury the truth, just to prove you wrong and at fault. What content she derives out of all these nasty acts, god knows but she surely enjoys the drama created by her own.
23.) She gaslights
She is so notorious that the will make you doubt yourself. She will make you believe that you are in trouble because of your attitude This way she will gain power over you and make you question your own reality.
24.) She is insecure
As I mentioned earlier, she could be jealous and insecure because of you. And it’s her mistake to see you as a threat. Life could be better if she sees you as a companion of her son and family members, but she refuses to surrender.
25.) She is full of herself
Have you met a narcissistic personality? A person who is so full of herself that they completely deny your existence. Meet your narcissistic mother in law. An outrageous and incredibly cruel form of mother in law, who only makes mistakes in her relationships.
26.) She can’t see things as it is
Mindfulness is, which is distant apart from her level of wisdom and knowledge. She lives in utmost ignorance sees everything with a filter, a filter of judgment, biases, prejudices, and negativity, hence she sees no good in her daughter in law.
27.) She will never appreciate you
No matter how much effort you put to make things even with her, she will never be receptive to your efforts. She will never appreciate you for anything you do. She feels insecure.
28.) She lies to gain sympathy
Another one of the biggest mistakes of mothers in law. They lie, just to save themselves. Just imagine at the age where you are supposed to be evolved, experienced, and guiding your family members, your life, you manipulate and gaslight others, just to save yourself for your stupid and random acts.
29.) She gives you anxiety
The constant fear, excessive worrying caused a ripple effect of her outrageous behavior. She pulls your triggers and leaves you restless. All you do is worry and feel helpless.
30.) She doesn’t care about boundaries
You try to maintain a polite distance but she doesn’t care about boundaries, a big mistake she makes here is that she invades the boundary and step n whenever she desires too, which is very inappropriate.
31.) Pretending to be nice
She tries too hard to play nice and it goes against her. She will pretend to be nice in front of others and when she turns around she will be her nasty self. This kind of behavior will do not good in the long run.
32.) She brags about herself
In order to hide her insecurity and overpower her daughter in law, she brags a lot about herself. She makes everything about her and loves the attention.
33.) She doesn’t like your bond with her son
She entered the house as a wife and took command of the house, created a family atmosphere, and now when it is your time to do so, she doesn’t like it rather creates problems in your marriage. She doesn’t even like the bond between you and her son, because she feels insecure.
34.) She gives her uncalled advice
We all do things as per our knowledge and understanding. Elders do give their advice but not all advice works for everyone. SOmetimes let the person take a call and see how things work. But mothers in law loves to give their unsolicited advice which hardly works.
35.) She always compares
One of the biggest mistakes mothers in law make is by committing this sin of comparing your own child with others. She will compare her son with the other son on basis of his income, big house, she will compare her daughter in law on basis of how much dowry she bought and how she is more beautiful than her own daughter in law. A dissatisfied soul.
36.) She always complains
As she is never satisfied, she always complains. She feels pity for herself, she believes in playing the victim and sees no good in any situation.
37.) She doesn’t believe in the idea of peace
If she would have believed in the idea of peace and harmony in the house, she would have surely adapted an evolved approach. She would have got along with her daughter in law and worked together to build a bond between the two.
38.) She never wants to evolve
The one who never wants to get evolve will never make peace with you. She will continue to be her nasty version and you will continue to doubt your own efforts. Instead, look after yourself and leave the idea of changing such a mother in law.
Lots of love and gratitude
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.