How to move on from a bad marriage? A bad marriage can leave you broken, depressed, and disappointed with life.
If marriages were made in heaven, then everyone would have been happy, since it’s not the case we have to search for our own haven. If your marriage is not working out, remember it is not your fault, it is a combined effort of both the partners to make it work and one cannot drag the burden of expectations alone.
A bad marriage is a serious problem in a married couple’s life, so in this blog let us discuss a few mindful ways to help you cross the ocean of grief and sorrow.
How to move on from a bad marriage?
Truth is always stranger than fiction, and most of the time it’s your marriage that gives you a reality check. Your unhealthy, overbearing, and toxic relationship with your partner puts you into a tough spotlight of life. It hurts you physically and emotionally to an extent that you look out for escape from your marriage.
Marriages are hard to break as it is tied with a solid knot of societal conditioning and expectations. You are married, you have kids, and how good or bad your relationship is with your partner, it is your responsibility to fix it and stay with them.
Moving out from a bad marriage is still a topic of taboo, especially for a woman, a series of questions and allegation triggers as soon as a woman stands for herself. Here are a few tried and tested ways you can cope up with it:
11 Mindful Ways to Move On From A Bad Marriage
If a good partner can lead to a bad marriage in the future, then the bad one will surely lead to the worst one. It can leave you appalled, horrified, heart-broken and you see no tomorrow, all you do is worry and accumulate a lot of stress and anxiety by overthinking and indulging yourself in limitless internal mental dialogues. You need to break that pattern.
How to move on from a bad marriage and start a new life, at least think about a better life without your toxic partner. In the majority of cases, there lies a lot of fear in the sufferer. Especially when you have a child, you tend to whittle yourself so that your relationship status doesn’t impact your child personally, but how long will you be able to present a perfect picture and hide reality?
1.) Take charge of the situation
We prefer to live in denial and want to believe that things will change for good someday. Being hopeful is surely a positive sign for an individual’s mental well-being but what about emotional well-being?
We need to understand that it doesn’t matter if the glass is half or fully empty, what matters is who drank the water. That is mindfulness, to see things like it is and acknowledge it.
2.) Keep someone informed
How to move on from a bad marriage? By preparing yourself and informing your family member or friends. Please keep someone informed about your real situation and keep talking so that you don’t feel alone.
If you feel insecure inform local help and do not fear seeking help, you can prevent a tragedy you never expected.
3.) Focus on tomorrow
It is normal to hover over the same thoughts, old memories, grudges, and feelings of disgust, it’s natural to feel in a certain manner. But living as if there is no tomorrow is not ok, you have to work on yourself internally to build a better tomorrow.
Instead of focusing on problems try to shift your focus on solutions, you will be less stressed and would be able to think clearly.
4.) Be financially independent
Start carving your own path, focus on becoming financially independent and capable enough to take care of yourself. If you know any skill brush it up or learn something new, there is a lot of content available on the internet for free, all you need to do is to EXPLORE and leave no stone unturned.
Once you start establishing yourself and start earning you will be more confident and able to cope up with your situation in a better way.
5.) Seek professional help
When you have tried everything and you feel drained and lost, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Reach out to a counselor, seek mental support to understand how you are feeling and what you are feeling.
There are a lot of online counseling services available nowadays and you can seek help privately. But please do not ignore your mental distress, talk to someone.
6.) Do not get lost in the noise
If you are in a toxic relationship with your partner, then there is bound to be a lot of background noise in your marriage in form of your arrogant in-laws who gives two hoots about your present condition, your hardships, society who will blame you for not giving your hundred percent in your marriage and people around you will make you doubt your own self, but remember they are just distraction.
7.) Stop communicating with your partner
If you don’t like interacting and if interaction only leads to heated up arguments and fights then it is better to draw a firm line. When two people stop understanding each other in the relationship then it becomes too difficult to converse and listen.
How to move on from a bad marriage? By preparing yourself to move on verbally, don’t interact, don’t ask anything, don’t taunt or pass comments to express your anger, just leave it and learn to let go while inhaling a deep breath.
8.) Start pursuing your passion
We all have some interesting hobbies, some hidden skills, which we stop pursuing because we stop nurturing ourselves as we used to before our marriage. After marriage, our life becomes all about our kids and family, and forget to invest in ourselves.
Pursue a passion so that it can have you have a purpose to live for every day.
9.) Practise mindfulness
One of the best tips to save our sanity is to turn inward. Dealing with your internal chatter will serve you in much more before you start to deal with your external stressors. Mindfulness is an effective tool to help you see things as it is and be in the moment. Mindfulness is like taking you back to the basics.
Practicing mindfulness enables you to observe, pause, and reflect.
10.) Stay in solitude for a while
One of the biggest benefits of staying in solitude is you get time to focus on your inner energy and reflect on your thought process. Reflection enables you to think clearly.
It can help you become mentally strong. Your ability to tolerate your solitude will lead you to better life satisfaction and improve your stress management ability.
11.) Walk/Exercise or Meditate
How to move on from a bad marriage? By taking care of yourself. Mental health and physical health are inter-related and no matter how late we realize this, we need to make it a part of our daily routine. Do what works for you, not to reduce your weight or get those abs, but to sweat out those unhealthy toxins, to feel lighter, to gain stamina and strength. Buck up and show up!
Five common reasons which make you want to leave
1.) Poor Communication
Poor Communication is the most common reason for relationships falling apart. After a few years of marriage couples stop interacting like they use to. They stop being friends, they stop listening to each other and they stop standing for each other, resulting in detachment and disconnection.
2.) Physical/Emotional Abuse
Relationships that have patterns of physical and emotional abuse tend to die soon. How can you stay with someone who doesn’t respect you and how it will not hamper your self-esteem. Abuse of any kind in any relationship can never be healthy and moving out from such an abusive relationship is the best gift one can give to self.
3.) Repeated Infidelity
Your partner is not loyal to you and has been repeatedly cheating on you. How many chances will you give him/her? How will you preserve your love for them when all they do is betray your trust.
4.) Sexual Abuse
What goes in between couples in the bedroom is a part of their married life, but sometimes many husbands take out their frustration, manipulate their wives shame them, and abuse them in the form of sex. Forceful sex is not love-making, even if you are married, you cannot force or threaten your wife to have sex without her will.
5.) Pro-longed Financial Stress.
So many relationships become complicated because of the overloaded liabilities and debt. They feel trapped financially and they worry about their future and child’s security resulting in a lot of distress between partners.
To conclude, I would say make yourself your priority and keep choosing yourself daily. How to move on from a bad marriage? By standing for yourself. Do not give up on yourself and if you have taken this strong and bold step then you are capable of going way beyond your imagination, just stop for nothing.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.