How to move on from a bad relationship? How to regain our lost inner balance and prepare our minds for a new chapter?
Moving on from a relationship is not easy and sometimes it takes a whole lot of courage to mentally move on from a toxic relationship and start a new life. But what is important here is we do what is right irrespective of what we are forced to believe is right.
In this blog, I will share some hacks which can help you not lose your mind while you lose a relationship.
How To Move On From a Bad Relationship?
Are you feeling stuck? Tired and drained of putting all the energy into your relationship to make it work? Did all the promises your partner had made to you under the deep blue sky go haywire? Come on, you are not alone 🙂
We all have been there, seen it, done that but no one talks about what happens after that? We all focus on getting a commitment from our partner, getting married, and then we run away with the tag, happily married? But what after that? Happiness is not a one-time experience it’s a lifelong pursuit and we have to work equally to keep that spark alive and keep things in place.
How many of us continue to love each other how we had begun to, how many of us will be there for each other the way we promise to be. So before I share, how to move on from a bad relationship, I would like to share a few signs of a bad relationship that will help you define your thought process and take a stand.
11 signs you are in a bad relationship
If you are in a bad relationship you feel stressed, it affects your mental health, and nothing makes you feel complete. You feel empty even in the presence of your partner. Period. Now instead of getting stuck over the intrusive thoughts, try to focus on what you can do to help yourself. You can begin by acknowledging your feelings and your surroundings.
|1.) Your relationship doesn’t spark any joy|
|2.) All you do is blame and argue|
|3.) Your partner disrespects you|
|4.) Your partner never stands for you|
|5.) Your partner abuses you.|
|6.) There is someone else in your relationship|
|7.) Brings out your past|
|8.) Physical and sexual violence|
|9.) Highly controlling|
|10.) Demeans and makes fun of you in public|
|11.) Uses you for their advantage|
1.) Your relationship doesn’t spark any joy
You don’t feel happy and content with little things you use to enjoy before. You lack communication and in place of conversation, misunderstanding and grudges have made their home.
2.) All you do is blame and argue
You are frustrated, unhappy and hence you see all the negative things in each other, end up arguing and putting blame on each other for not able to make things work.
3.) Your partner disrespects you
Besides love, all we need is a little respect and attention from our loved one and when your partner disrespects you and puts your and your dream down, you feel left out and lose your space.
4.) Your partner never stands for you
Support gives you the strength and courage to move ahead in life. When you need a hand and you get nothing you feel insecure and uncared. When your partner never stands for you and your beliefs you need to think about your relationship.
5.) Your partner abuses you
Abuse could be in any form but the most common form of abuse is verbal, bad-mouthing, and taking out unwarranted anger and frustration on you is surely a sign of a toxic relationship.
6.) There is someone else in your relationship
Another aspect of a relationship when the going gets really tough when you sense someone else in your partner’s life. It is a hard-hitting fact which breaks your heart and you lose all you love and hope.
7.) Brings out your past
A bad relationship is filled with everything negative and by negative I mean, your partner will not even shy away from bringing up your past affair or a relationship which didn’t work, which will tear you apart.
8.) Physical and sexual violence
The worst form of abuse any individual could go through in the name of love, we love them so much that unknowingly we allow them to ruin our mental peace by ruining our spirit. Every year the case of sexual and physical abuse has been reportedly increasing.
9.) Highly controlling
The possessive and highly assessed partners, who will like to have your full control in their hands that you will feel suffocated after a while and want to run away from them.
10.) Demeans and makes fun of you in public
They will carry you with themselves as a trophy in public and would occasionally make fun of you and eave you in an awkward situation which will make you feel uncomfortable and you will feel betrayed.
11.) Uses you for their advantage
You will find few so-called lovers who use the other one for their advantage, which could be in the form of care and protection or fulfillment of the financial aspect and when they are done with their needs they lose interest in you.
12 ways to regain your lost inner balance
Now after having learned a few signs of a bad relationship and while you introspect and come out to a conclusion, let me share a few handy tips which will help you save some sanity for yourselves.
When it comes to relationships, we usually listen to our heart and we tend to forgive the person because somewhere deep inside we love and care for them, that is when it becomes a toxic relationship for us, one can’t stand it, neither can live with and when your abusive partner understands this and gets a hold of your week nerve he/she manipulates you in every way possible, but again when you think from a calmer mind, you know that it is time to move on, nothing and nothing in this whole world is as worth as your mental health.
|1.) Accept that there is a problem|
|2.) Try to communicate|
|3.) Involve your friends|
|4.) Do not go out of the way to please|
|5.) Maintain your balance|
|6.) Identify the root cause|
|7.) Focus on solutions|
|8.) Detach emotionally|
|9.) Give yourself some break|
|10.) Forgive yourself for making mistakes|
|11.) Own your decision|
|12.) Move on with pride and dignity|
1.) Accept that there is a problem
How to move on from a bad relationship? Don’t live in a denial. We all want to make things work and live in a peaceful environment but when you know there is a problem, reciprocate it, accept it and try to focus on the solution.
2.) Try to communicate
When you are done and have no energy left to move a single step ahead with your toxic relationship, tell your partner and tell him loud and clear.
3.) Involve your friends
Your friends’ are usually the witness of your love affair right from when it starts blooming. Keep them in the loop and update them about your status of the relationship, so that you can seek help when needed.
4.) Do not go out of the way to please
When you are done, but you still want to see if they want you because you are stuck, please don’t. They become habitual of you returning back to them and then they will never appreciate and truly understand the value of true love so just leave if you have decided to.
5.) Maintain your balance
Just because your love life is not working well doesn’t mean you will stop living, and thinking about all the possible positivities in life. Maintain your balance and nurture your thought process when you find them de-railing from the track of mind.
6.) Identify the root cause
How to move on from a bad relationship? By not feeling guilty and self-doubting. Rather identifying the root cause and working on it, because it must have taught you something which could be helpful for your future life.
7.) Focus on solutions
Think mindfully, be aware of your thoughts and you will exactly know what you want. Listen to your inner voice and focus on the solution instead of worrying over your problems, you will be less anxious.
8.) Detach emotionally
We attach a lot of meaning to relationships and when they don’t fall in place we feel a vacuum beyond imagination and damage ourselves beyond repair. Please keep some room for your own self and when you know that things are not falling at the right place please take a stand.
9.) Give yourself some break
How to move on from a bad relationship? By allowing yourself to be in the moment and go with the flow. Take a breather, give yourself some break from the daily drama of life, and sit with yourself to figure out things. Most importantly don’t stress, as you might not have it all sorted at once. Take your time.
10.) Forgive yourself for making mistakes
We usually curse ourselves for choosing the wrong partner and wasting our time over a toxic relationship. Do you know what it does to us? It takes away all the positivity and spirit out of us and leaves us empty, please don’t do this to yourself and forgive yourself if you think you are responsible for your situation.
11.) Own your decision
If you have decided to leave your toxic relationship and move ahead then just move on, moving on doesn’t just happen immediately. It takes time as you have spent a part of your life with someone but this time try to choose yourself and keep on choosing yourself daily.
12.) Move on with pride and dignity
Identify your passion, find your purpose, and re-define your life. Have something to wake you up every day which will help you look forward, set short-term, and realistic goals for yourself. Achieve everything you want in your life and keep going with your head high.
In the end, I would say life is unpredictable and from my experience, nothing is constant in our life. So nurturing our mind space and keeping it strong to face any situation is the best we can do to build ourselves internally. Attach but don’t lose yourself. Love, but don’t forget your own self in the process. Take charge of your life. Stay safe and stay sane.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.