How do we maintain the balance while staying with a toxic partner during the lockdown and try to acknowledge that yes there is a problem which needs to be fixed and give our best shot? I am not a therapist but the ways and ideas I share here are derived from few personal experiences of people around me which are known to everybody but sometimes we all just need a reminder to regain our strength and get a hold of our lost space. Since there is nowhere to go during the lockdown try seeking a hide within self and practice control and gratefulness. Here are 15 ways you can try fixing things for yourself and your partner to ease your daily life.
1.) Accept there is a problem |
2.) Do not pick up a fight |
3.) Avoid getting into arguments |
4.) Keep yourself busy |
5.) Do not expect any help |
6.) Try to discuss |
7.) Maintain 3 ft distance |
8.) Keep things handy |
9.) Have an emergency setup |
10.) Talk to your parents or friends |
11.) Maintain a daily journal to vent out |
12.) Call helpline |
[the_ad id=”648″] 1.) Accept there is a problem The first step is to accept that there is a problem that is not in your control. All you can do is control your actions and your thoughts. If you are staying with a toxic partner during the lockdown you have to accept that things won’t be easy and accepting this will help you to take each step carefully to get over this time without losing your mind. 2.) Do not pick up a fight I agree the level of toxicity differs from person to person but honestly, during this lockdown period there is nothing we can do, so do not pick up the fight, blame, or get annoyed with your partner because this will only make things worse for you. You will feel suffocated and your anxiety levels will increase. 3.) Avoid getting into arguments Just avoid ending up into an argumentative situation with your partner, this is no time to prove right or wrong and win big battles. This is the time to maintain your composure and let each day pass. Wait for the storm to pass. 4.) Keep yourself busy The best getaway for all your problems is YOU. If we are going to sit ideal and focus on what our partner is doing, ho he is behaving then our life would be only stressful. Keep yourself busy in things you enjoy doing, invest a little time in yourself and take this as an opportunity to learn new things, drag yourself, and do this, please. 5.) Do not expect any help I can very well understand that due to the present scenario expecting a little help from your partner is perfectly normal but when your relationship with your partner has not been normal but stressful, please do not expect anything from them it will not help rather create more problems. The burden of work is better than the burden of toxic stress. 6.) Try to discuss You know things are getting out of hands, tell them that you want to talk and find a solution for the peace of mind of both of you. Ask them what they want, if there is any genuine problem they must open up or if you are locked down with a saddest who derives pleasure in hurting others then it is advisable to not touch the weak chords. 7.) Maintain 3 ft distance The social distance we are supposed to follow outside is what you need to adopt in your house too. One of my friends stays in the balcony most of the time to avoid confrontations. 8.) Keep things handy Keep your things handy, any medicine, phone charger, laptop or anything which belongs to you keep them all together so that when things get worse you can at least have your kinds of stuff with yourself in your room to help you survive your isolation. 9.) Have an emergency setup I am sure no matter how much we try to hide our personal life from others but there is always someone who knows about it and whom we can confide with so please stay in touch with that persona and keep him/her updated about your daily scenario. 10.) Talk to your parents or friends Stay in touch with your parents and your friends. Keep a personal check on them, make video calls, and also tell them how things are with you. It will help them to understand that how you are and there might be some cases where the partner could be so abusive that he/she will restrict your contact with the outside world so please have an emergency setup for you. 11.) Maintain a daily journal to vent out A daily journal or a personal diary, you can call it anything. Write things which bothered you, troubled you the whole day, and get it off your head. Punch the pillows on your bed if you feel anxious while venting out, just release all your stress and anxiousness. 12.) Call helpline The abuser sees this as an opportunity to use it for their advantage. The National Domestic Abuse helpline has seen a 25% increase in calls and online requests for help since the lockdown. Do not be afraid to reach out. In the end, I would say that these are tough times and beyond difficult to manage for many people out there. Staying with a toxic partner during the lockdown is worst and no one can even imagine how a person stuck with such a toxic person is dealing with life. this post is just a little reminder from my side to please take care of yourself if you are among the one, stay strong from inside and take care of yourself please. Hold on for a little longer and we will get through this soon and after that, we will know what to do next with such a terrible person.