Are you dating somebody with anxiety? You like that person but lately, you discovered about their anxiety issues, what will you do?
40 % of relationships are abandoned just when the other partner discovers the underlying mental illness and sees it as a burden and a taboo to live with such a relationship.
What will you do if you discover that your partner has anxiety issues? Will you stay or will you step back, will you help the person overcome it or leave them?
Are you dating somebody with anxiety?
Is your partner restless, anxious and worries a lot? He/she overthinks and it creates a problem in your relationship? Whether your partner has developed anxiety lately or he was like this before, I know how difficult it is to deal with a person suffering from anxiety. Sometimes it takes a toll on the other person’s mental health too as it not everyone can relate or understand the mood shifts and the restless one goes through when having frequent episodes of anxiety.
By simply understanding the early symptoms or identifying the triggers for your partner can help you both sustain your relationship in a way that anxiety or any such feeling will at least not affect the relationship status between you two.
Ten early symptoms of anxiety
We can begin with educating ourselves so that we can take better care of our partners, we can help them overcome their anxiety attacks, or even help them while they are having a tough time dealing with it. Sometimes being by the side of the person who is facing a certain mental disorder means a lot for that person, it is the least we could do as humans. After all, we are dating someone because we like some quality in him or her. In my blog, How anxiety affect family and relationships? I had clearly outlined the root causes and absence of early intervention for the one who is dealing with such uncalled emotions.
While the underlying causes of anxiety are sometimes unknown and hard to figure out, some prominent symptoms could help us to take care of the person we care about. Symptoms are such that one might mix them with other illnesses, but we have to observe closely and we will understand.
|1.) Behavioral change|
|2.) Tired and Sleepy|
|3.) Excessive worrying|
|4.) Rapid heartbeats|
|5.) Excessive sweat|
|7.) Avoidance of social contact|
|8.) Lack of concentration|
|10.) Panic attacks|
1.) Behavioral change
If you observe a sudden change in the behavior of your partner, you need to talk to them. If you observe a persistent change in their mood, taste, and preferences you need to talk to them and try to understand if something is bothering them. Sometimes early intervention helps to regain balance quickly and the person comes out of the zone faster.
2.) Tired and Sleepy
You need to talk when you find your partner, tired, lousy, dull, and sleepy all the time or to the contrary even if they complain that they are facing trouble falling asleep, you need to take care and help them by accommodating their thoughts and helping them to come at ease.
3.) Excessive worrying
That unwarranted tension, worrying only makes anxiety worse. Are you dating somebody with anxiety? The answer is yes if that person constantly worries and fears things, for you, it may appear as silly or irrational but for them, it is all the more important to worry about, no matter how illogical it may sound to you.
4.) Rapid heartbeats
An individual suffering from frequent anxiety might feel as if they are going to have a heart attack, rapid heartbeats or palpitations make it even worse. There are moments when a person becomes panicky and feels fearful.
5.) Excessive sweat
Along with palpitation or rapid heartbeats, one may experience excessive sweat, and feel a shortage of breath, which makes him/her tense and freaky.
Although not a major one but It can be one of the symptoms of anxiety. The unwarranted fear and worries bring a lot of restlessness alongside. The urge “to move” occurs a lot in people with anxiety.
7.) Avoidance of social contact
Are you dating somebody with anxiety? Yes, if your partner withdraws himself from social gatherings. Your partner’s social anxiety will certainly affect your social life. Your partner may not want to accompany you to social events or parties thrown by your friends. It might lead to a series of the argumentative situation between both of you.
8.) Lack of concentration
People with severe anxiety face concentration problems and find it really hard to memorize regular things. And the thought that they are forgetting things makes them more anxious.
According to one recent study, more than 90% of those with a generalized anxiety disorder reported feeling highly irritable when they were experiencing high anxiety, a total burnout, and things blow out of proportion for them. Irritability is the most common symptom and a but obvious one with other symptoms like fear, worrying or being restless.
10.) Panic attacks
Anxiety is extremely debilitating. It could also lead to panic attacks which prompt a high level of fear and restlessness in the individual. The person might feel as if he or she is going to lose his mind or even die out of the enormous stress the body is going through. It is one of the extreme situations which should never be ignored.
However, these symptoms could denote other medical conditions as well but if you sense any of these symptoms with your partner and it is somehow affecting your relationship, then you may also want to seek professional help for your partner and help them. Regardless of how long the symptoms started showing up, you should seek professional help when you feel it is affecting your life.
Five Do’s if you are dating somebody with anxiety
After learning the basic symptoms of anxiety and the need for your life and relationship, now you can very well understand how effective and early intervention can help things resolve before it turns really worse. Are you dating somebody with anxiety, then you must follow a few quick doable actions for your loved one and help them.
1.) Look out for symptoms
Now when you have learned a few of them and if you notice such symptoms occurring frequently with your partner, help them.
2.) Educate yourself
Mental health is not a topic of taboo, it is very much normal just like any other disease the only difference is that people find it deeply shameful to have a certain mental disorder and disowns the person dealing with nay such difficulty completely. Please educate yourself and spread what you learn about mental health illness to break the stigmas attached to it.
3.) Be available
Make them comfortable and be available for them. It is sometimes very difficult to talk about such emotions and due to the lack of awareness people fear getting judged. Be available when they are ready to talk.
4.) Give them space
They might prefer to stay alone or avoid social contact, so just give them space but you make sure that you regularly check on them and make them feel safe.
5.) Be an active listener
Are you dating somebody with anxiety? Be an active listener first. Most of the time we just hear and we do not listen and try to understand those unsaid words and underlying emotions, be an active listener and maybe that is all needed for the given moment.
Five Dont’s if you are dating somebody with anxiety
Knowing the best tool to help someone with anxiety could be difficult but we can at least try a few basic practices from our end to help them feel comfortable. To avoid triggers and make the situation even worse, which in turn could also affect our relationships.
1.) Don’t lose patience
I know it is really overwhelming to date somebody with anxiety issues, as it affects your day-to-day life. Moreover, if you are really fond of your partner then please have patience with them and trust your path which will help them overcome their situation.
2.) Don’t let their anxiety affect you
It could be too difficult at times when your needs and demands don’t complement and you lose your temper in spite of knowing the fact that your partner has an anxiety disorder. Let all this not affect you in such a manner that will badly ruin your relationship.
3.) Don’t get irritated
Dating somebody with anxiety is one of the trickiest relationships, you might lose your mind on many occasions but if you look at the brighter side you are helping someone overcome their fears and emotional turbulence, which you should be proud of.
4.) Don’t make them feel left out
On the occasions of social gatherings and public events, they might feel left out and will seek your presence around them, please be there for them and never leave them alone.
5.) Don’t let it affect physical health
Mental health does affect one’s physical health, now when you know the signs and symptoms at least try to help them by not focusing on their anxiety bu ton their physical well being after all a sane mind will help them to recover from their mental disturbances. Help them realize it.
In the end, I would say dating somebody with anxiety could be way too painful and the most challenging relationship. But since now you have chosen someone as your partner, you must have seen something good or unique in them, focus on the good and help them.
You never know what difference you can make in their life. Some cases of generalized anxiety get cure within a very short period of time with timely help and intervention. Seek professional help if required, take care of yourself too, and live a happy life.
Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.