This blog post is straight from my heart, no keyword research, no SEO features and no content strategy for this one. My reflections about the year 2022 and moving ahead in 2023 with more courage. I have always been a believer in self-improvement and long ago I adopted a mantra of focusing on one thing at a time, one day at a time, one goal at a time.
This article will talk about how 2022 is the foundation of my life ahead, and how I sacrificed a few things willingly for a more realistic and better tomorrow. In early 2020, I moved back to my parent’s house after my marriage was over. I never had to explain the hundreds of whys asked to a woman when she takes such a huge step with a kid by her side. Neither did I feel that I should’ve waited more, tried more or done more to save my marriage, it was over long before I knew it.
In later 2021, I filed for divorce and started preparing myself for a life independent of anything and anyone who takes away my spark. I started filtering out people, and I reflected a lot. I was grieving, hurting and healing, but with a child as my sole responsibility, I didn’t have the option to sit and cry. I wanted to set an example for my daughter that you are allowed to be at your weakest self at the most vulnerable state, but you are not allowed to hurt yourself over the same wound again and again.
I wanted to do something and make my parents happy, I wanted to secure my daughter’s future and above all, I wanted to restart my life, as I would have done a decade ago. If there is anything I could have done differently, I would have focused on myself, my career and my growth and I still had time. I wanted to do it this time with more vigour, determination and courage.
Later in 2021, I started looking for courses I could do to upskill myself and get a high-paying job. With my father’s support and encouragement, I started exploring options abroad and ended up applying for courses in UK universities, by the end of October, I had 7 unconditional offers in my hand and I chose the University of Dundee for pursuing an MSc in Digital Marketing.
In January 2022, I move to the UK, although it sounds swift and smooth now when I write this, there is a tremendous amount of documentation work, visa processing, mind management and financial arrangement behind this whole scene which took away a little piece of my mind, but I believed in my idea and wanted to give it a go. I kept thinking what worse could happen, what can go wrong? In the worst case, I will fail, I will not be able to survive in a new country, and I will not be able to adjust, learn new things or get a job. I can always go back, I have a home and there is no shame in backing off when you have at least tried something you believed in.
I moved to the UK alone and left my daughter with my parents as I didn’t want her to be a part of my initial struggle of finding accommodation and getting my foot in the right place in a new country. I couldn’t sleep without her, it was the hardest 4 months for me, staying away from her. Once I felt settled, I started her visa application, due to the Ukraine war at that time her visa got delayed and I was stuck in India. Finally, I could get her here with me and that day when I woke up, I felt complete, and whole and my life was in front of me. My purpose and my biggest goal – my daughter.
Today in January 2023, exactly after a year, I have Ishaanvi by my side, I have finished my course, I have a job and I have made new friends, learned new things, and explored different places, cuisines, and cultures. I have constantly updated my optics to see the world, cut down on my circle, learned to draw firmer boundaries and have completely stopped pleasing people.
I could have stayed back in India, and life would have been easier with family support, financial ease and a comfortable environment, but I could have never known my potential and my capacity to outperform the internal barriers I had within myself. With each and every hurdle I have overcome, I have learnt three things:
1.) Nothing is permanent
2.) Other’s opinion is not your reality
3.) Self-belief is the most powerful tool
There were times when I had to choose between my blog and my studies, my daughter’s guitar classes and my lectures, and I chose what needed my most attention at that moment, that’s how we managed each other. We will make such choices daily. There will be never a perfect time to do things, there will be no defined day to make things work for you and there will be no one to do it for you, if you have to do something for yourself, if you want to make a change in your life small or big, you will have to sacrifice a lot and be willing to go through it all alone without complaining about your own choices. Trust me, it will empower you, strengthen you from the inside and you will become more aware of yourself.
Love and light,