How to support your husband under stress? How to help him overcome this situation? How can you as his partner help in making things smooth and easy for him?
Men are always expected to be strong and tough, but with the daily struggle to keep everything in place and meet the ends, they too undergo deep stress. As they are considered stronger species, they cannot even express their true feelings and their emotional vulnerability.
You can start by letting him know that it is ok to get tired and it is normal to not be able to meet all the set goals. Let us discuss a few further handy measures in this blog.
How to support your husband under stress?
Men and Mental Health have been a topic of taboo, men can’t be weak and they are not allowed to express their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Due to enormous stress and the financial burden they deal with, they tend to go into isolation and even end their life. I would like to share a recent incident of India’s largest coffee chain Cafe Coffee Day owner V.G. Siddhartha, who ended his life by choosing suicide as a way to get rid of the distress he was dealing with.
This incident left me wondering what goes inside the human mind when one decides to take such a huge step? What provokes them to end their life? He was reported missing and prior to his disappearance, he left a heart-warming note to his employees revealing how much in debt he was. The mountain of debt was impairing his business as working capital requirements could not be met.
“I have failed to create the right profitable business model despite my best efforts. I would like to say I gave it my all. I am very sorry to let down all the people that put their trust in me. I fought for a long time but today I gave up as I could not take any more pressure,” his note read.
Besides a business tycoon, he was a father, a husband and a normal human being who had emotions and maybe he was under stress for a long time. I am sure if his family would have known they would have supported him and get him some help, I don’t know his personal life so I am just referring to this incident as an eye-opener for family members.
How to support your husband under stress? We feel men are working they can’t get tired, we see our father running and keeping things in order, we see our husbands working hard, slogging day and night to keep us safe and fulfilled but maybe they forego a lot of mental peace to meet the ends and to keep everything running. We as wife/mother/daughter should give them space to vent out, to relax and to let them know it is ok if they are feeling tired and they are allowed to say that are stressed.
What causes stress in a husband?
Recognizing Men’s Health is a critical issue because they hide it more than women, women are more expressive and at least they cry out their pent up emotions, men even hesitate to accept their feelings. Due to this patriarchal belief system, men try to dominate their own emotions and drag things to look normal but someday things bounce back and reality hit them hard.
They break and lose the track of things, start feeling anxious, frustrated and get angry without any reason. How to support your husband under stress? By trying to understand the root cause of his we should be able to find ways to support him, I have mentioned a few common reasons for stress in men which anyone would relate with:
- Financial Stress
- Tremendous Workload
- Monotonous life
- Work and personal life balance pressure
- Inability to accept their weakness due to the concept of machoism.
- Lack of Intellectual growth
- No job-recognition
- No performance appraisal
- Peer Pressure
- Family and relationship troubles
Seven Effective Ways To Support Your husband Under Stress
Usually, men face a lot of financial burden on their society-conditioned responsible shoulders. They are meant to rule and dominate, are not allowed to shed a tear when they get tired of the hardships life throws on them. How to support your husband under stress who doesn’t share how he feels or who doesn’t even talk about his professional life? We can only try to friendly and give them enough chances to open up because some hustle and make their way out of their struggle, some fail and collapse and some just disappear right in front of our eyes.
|1.) Listen to the unsaid|
|2.) Help them ease|
|5.) Identify triggers|
|6.) Try retreats|
|7.) Seek expert help|
1.) Listen to the unsaid
Men hardly speak about their issues, especially work or finances related issues. But their anger and disgust which is unwarranted at times speak louder than words. The simple act of lending an ear into active listening can sometimes work as an ice-breaker.
2.) Help them ease
Give them a safe space to open up, have a friendly approach. Let them know it is ok and you are there to listen if they want to share anything they can share with you without the fear of being judged or criticized.
Who else can support them other than you by just making them talk and help them open up their bottled emotions? A partner especially a caring one is the best source of emotional and moral support who can fill the other one with strength and positivity to bounce back.
Connect with him and connect him to things he loves to do use to enjoy doing. There could be a lot of possibilities when you sit down and think, my dad never buy clothes unless mom forces him, in the daily hustle, they sometimes forget to think about themselves.
5.) Identify triggers
You both could end up in an argument and you could complain that he was never like this and don’t know what has got into him, you could complain and cry about it, which is natural but sometimes maybe unknowingly we pull the triggers because we don’t know what is going in his mind.
6.) Try retreats
How to support your husband under stress? Just escape from the daily hustles of the life, take a breather and this escapade could be in the form of a yoga retreat, meditation retreats or a simple vacation. It will help him to rejuvenate and you will also feel good in a new environment.
7.) Seek expert help
The most challenging thing here to be noted is that if family members fail to read the signs and identify the problem well beforehand, it could be more difficult. Sometimes they even deny the existence of problems and get annoyed.
It is always advisable to seek professional help when you fail to figure out ways that could work in your favor. I understand even you have your temper and limitations and sometimes even though we try to put ourselves in someone’s shoes, we do find things complicated even though we want to help them. It is better to meet a counselor, a therapist who can understand the problem and suggest effective coping mechanisms.[the_ad id=”648″]
How can a family be more alert and useful?
The most common cause of Mental Health in men is financial stress and professional strain. I believe every organization should adopt some mental health measures, some signposts when they see some signs. A family should be very supportive of men who are committed and dedicated to their family’s responsibilities.
I cannot believe that a person doesn’t show any sign before taking any such step, they do, they try to give a signal, they try to tell their stories but are always afraid to be judged and unaccepted. Men can be secretive but just in case if you are able to read some signs don’t give up until you are sure, don’t leave them alone, and try to be there always.
Five Don’t if your husband is under stress
As I have spoken about this in my earlier blogs, I would again like to point out that knowing the best tool to help someone with stress could be difficult but we can at least try not to pull the triggers and try to help them which could make the situation even worse, which in turn could also affect our relationships. How to support your husband under stress? Read on:
1.) Keep your calm
I know it is really overwhelming to deal with someone with stress and especially if it is your husband, as it affects your day to day life. Moreover, if you are really fond of your partner then please have patience with them and trust your path which will help them overcome their situation.
2.) Don’t let their stress affect you
It could be too difficult at times when your needs and demands don’t complement and you lose your temper in spite of knowing the fact that your partner is under deep stress. Let all this not affect you in such a manner that will badly ruin your relationship.
3.) Don’t get irritated
Stress affects both and dealing with a partner with stress and tension is one of the trickiest parts in relationships, you might lose your mind on many occasions but if you look at the brighter side you are helping someone overcome their fears and emotional turbulence, which you should be proud of.
4.) Make sure they don’t feel left out
On the occasions of social gatherings and public events, they might feel left out because their feelings of fear, worry, and doubts hardly leave them and they will seek comfort which could be in the form of your presence around them, please be there for them and never leave them alone.
5.) Don’t let it affect their physical health
Mental health does affect one’s physical health, now when you know the signs and symptoms and few handy ways to deal with stress while keeping your own sanity, at least try to help them by focusing on their physical well being after all a sane mind will help them to recover from their mental disturbances. Help them realize it.
Suggested measures which could improve the quality of life:
- Staying connected to your passion, if you have a hobby please take out time for it.
- Take at least two breaks in a year for a mini-vacation or simply spending leisure time with family.
- Spend quality time with their partner
- No comparison with others
- Exercise, Exercise, Exercise
- Hang out with old friends
- Talk about how you feel
- Seek help
As the saying goes Health is Wealth and it is applicable to both men and women to take care of their health before it takes a toll over us, during office hours, take regular water breaks, have proper meals give your eyes some screen away time, indulge in less gossips, stay out of comparison zone, maintain a distance with negative people, smile and stay pleasant.
In the end, I would say supporting your husband who is under stress could be a painful and challenging part of a relationship. But since now you have decided to help them overcome their stress and take charge of their life, you got to be strong too. You never know what difference you can make in their life. Be aware and be present. Seek professional help if required, take care of yourself too and live a happy life.Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.